I am going to spill a little secret about this blog. I have a webtracker installed on it that helps me track the number of visitors each day. It's useful for things like click-ad marketing and click-through counts. But for me, the most telling bit of information it provides is the search words each visitor uses when he or she finds this blog. Hands down, the number one phrase used in searches that land visitors here is some variant of "Divorced dad, misses my kids". There is no hurt on this earth like the broken heart of a dad who is feeling his fatherhood being sucked from his soul by the slow grind of visitation. Even the word is an affront. "Visitation" That's the term they use for the exact hours you may see a dead person in a coffin at a funeral home and pay your respects to the family. More appropriately, that's the term they use when you go see a prisoner...visitation. You get "X" number of minutes on "X" days each week. That's when you're allowed...permitted...to see your children. There is nothing on this earth that drains the very soul from a father like visitation.
Now about that webtracker...
First of all, guys relax...I can't see who you are. I don't know your name and in many cases I can't even tell what town you are in. I simply know you as an IP address. But I see the pain in your heart.
You want to know how bad it hurts to miss your children when you are a divorced dad? Here is an idea...most of these searches occur in the wee hours. Between 10pm and 4AM. You want to know how bad a dad can hurt...imagine being sleepless and so desperate for some sort of comfort that you type "I'm a divorced dad and I miss my children" in the search bar on Google just to see if anyone is out there who can help you.
That is pain.
Those of you who don't know first-hand what a divorce does to the heart of a dad...you should read some of these search phrases sometime.
Please pray for this blog as I aim it in a slightly new direction and as I become more active with it. It's needed and there are desperate, broken hearts out there who need what this blog brings them. Please pray for me to have wisdom, to hear clearly from God so that I can bring the comfort of His word to these guys. please pray for the new venture "DadMatters" that starts this Sunday night on Blogtalk radio. Maybe we can begin seeing a few dads healed and that will enable them to become even better dads and whole men again. Maybe if we accomplish that, we can break the chain of divorce in their families forever.
To the searchers who find this site from the depths of a broken heart...
I know...I've been there. I've cried those tears in the wolf hour when you wished for peace but only found turmoil. I've seen myself in the mirror and only saw a broken heart looking back. There is hope. Just up ahead, another weary traveler in this dark valley dug you a well as he journeyed through. You need to stop and take a long cool drink. You're going to make it.
** Urgent MESSAGE:
I have decided to resume broadcast of the Divorced Dad's Radio show. I did this for two years and stopped a while ago. But I can see the necessity of resuming this and giving dads an outlet for this pain we all feel. I will post details soon. PLEASE leave me a comment in the comment box if you are interested in this show.
Craig
344 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 344 of 344I'm at the end of the line...haven't seen nor spoken to my girls In over 4 years....yes I have joint custody but they don't want to see me....my heart is broken....I stare at old pictures of them and cry for hours....
I'm at the end of the line...haven't seen nor spoken to my girls In over 4 years....yes I have joint custody but they don't want to see me....my heart is broken....I stare at old pictures of them and cry for hours....
It's been a year since separation and I cry just as much now as I did then, maybe more. I found a great 3 bedroom for hopes of a 50/50 split, but of course she won't allow it. How do I fight when there's no money. This should not be about money. Doesn't anybody care? Divorced men are treated like shit and it's about time it stopped. There must be some way to unite, and turn our deadly sadness, into something healthy for us and our kids. Antiquated laws are destroying us. This kind of discrimination is unjust. We need some kind of male Oprah to blow this out of the water. My cousin went through this too, his x just gave up custody to him, because now that she's a teenager, she's too tough for mom to handle. Sounds all too familiar, kids need their dads. Somebody needs to help us. Hello Justin Trudeau, forget pot and the Syrians and help 50% of men in your own country.
I also am also going through withdrawals. I miss my kids every minute of my life. I have been separated from my kids for going on 2 years and divorced for 8 months. It feels like yesterday i was forced out. I have a 6 year old girl and a 4 year old son that I have joint custody of with their mom. I was forced to move 5 hours away, and my ex isn't making life easy when it comes to our kids. She has become more difficult since our divorce was final. She uses the kids as pawns and spenda the child support that I pay on frivolous things she doesn't need. Unfortunately, I don't get to see my kids as much as I would like to. They always have a blast when they visit. However, My kids cry and are upset the entire drive back to their mom. It's so painful to see them hurting. I'm sure I'm echoing what other fellow noncustodial dads are saying, but I can't help it. The empty feeling is so overwhelming. I've been told it gets better, but when???
my partner of 8 years left me today took my son 5 and daughter 1 and a half.i was upset but she diddnt seem to care.i tried so hard to make it work but she made no effort at all we actually split up 2 months ago but stayed in the same house until she found a place. christmas was hell for me everytime i looked at my kids the clock was ticking knowing they would be leaving soon for thier new home.ive seen a side to thier mother that i never knew was there she was pure cold hearted when i said to my boy give me a hug and kiss she couldnt get him away quick enough i am filled with hurt anger and fear that she will use the kids as a weapon against me or that they wont want me after a while .
I am extremely grateful for tour post because Inam actually a MOTHER who is feeling bery alone and lost. It is rare to find a Mother who doesnt end up with the child she raised as a military wife of 14 years, 7 overseas deployments and 9 years of being a stay at home Mother, taking care of my baby girl's needs every single day and night, since the daybshe was born. I have to be honest and say that I am feelig a lot of empathy for Dad's since its mostly men who go through this loss. I feel a little bit of pride to say that I can "hang with the men" because what you guys have tondeal with is something few Mothers can even fathom. Trust me, I know. This site has brought me incredible comfort and encouragementas a Mother suffering this deep horrible grieving... Hang in there all of you amd just dont give up being in your kids lives. Call them every daybif you can, initiate the contact to keep the bond alive, let them know you will make those efforts for them and that they can depend on that. I grew up a Motherless daughter and my Father was absent until I was 12. Even after that, his women always took priority. Dont let that happen. My parents did not call me, rarely visited me, never sent anything in the mail... My two cents would be to just keep yourself in their mind everyday, make them feel special, be that thing that makes them smile that day. Even when you feel like crumbling into a pile of dust and the pain is so great somedays that thought of just disappearing or withdrawing crosses your mind because you feel like that would stop the pain... Dont do it. Keep on chugging along.
What brings me here.... I am not divorced, well not yet... but my marriage is heading that way.... Wife doesn't want to work things out, she doesn't really care for the relationship.Nothing bad ever really happened, but she just doesnt want it... I am the one who pulls all the ropes, practical and emotional, she is distant far far away. We have a daughter, the apple of my eye, if the marriage ends....they leave the country, visitation would be almost impossible. To be honest the only reason I don't end it is so that I can still have her with me...see her grow up. My questions to other dads, would you stay in a hopeless marriage if it meant you get to be with your kids?
Anonymous...
Yes...I would stay. There is always hope as long as you are married. If you divorce...it's really over. Give your kids a loving home even if you don't love each other right now. That's my opinion
Thank you Craig.... friends, family all tell you to 'think of yourself'....deep down you know they are wrong and the sacrifices you need to make for your kids are your own....it is good to hear it coming from someone else...
I lived for my kids and tolerated a lot of crap from my ex just so I could be with them. I performed the majority of the real parenting tasks (homework, discipline, taking them to various appointments, etc.) while she ran around all the time. We finally divorced in Dec 2009 because I found out she was having an affair and had been lying to my face for 2 years. My kids are now all in their twenties and I am re-married. Post divorce over the course of 4 years I paid $1500 in child support, paid for their college tuition and a lot of other stuff (cell phones, auto ins, etc). It drained me financially. I even paid full child support while laid off for 7 months. Back then she wouldn't pay a dime toward auto repairs, tires, etc. She always said "I don't have it". Then she would play the guilt card... you make more money, but hey, if you don't want to pay for it then so be it. I did what did for my kids and don't regret it. What irritates the hell out of me is that she is now sitting pretty. Moved into a $600K house with her fiance, doles out money right and left to my kids (where the hell was that money before...oh yeah, she was stockpiling it!). She hates my wife and has totally alienated my kids from her, which has put a strain on my relationship with my kids. What is even more hurtful is that she is now seen as the hero because she is able to do more financially for them than I am. I love my kids, but after 6 years of this nonsense I don't feel all that close to them anymore. 2 are in college and when they come home they always stay at her house (w/ her fiance...ugh!). Having said all of that, I'd do it all over again. My kids may never fully appreciate how much I did, but in the end we do because we love our kids. I find it hard to believe that after all I did as a father that our relationship is weaker. But I know why...she poisoned them. She is hateful, vindictive and selfish and a master manipulator. Kids should not have pick sides so I don't fight it anymore. I still see them, but its not like it used to be. Divorce changes everything and kids suffer the most, IMO. We should all hold our heads high. We are dads who care enough to hurt. That says something important about all of us.
No comment required, my feelings have been shared in the previous comments. Adults are selfish, cruel humans with scant regard for the little mistake free humans they bring into the world. I no longer believe in the ideology of marriage and I will never bring another child into the world. The risk of ruining another child because mum and dad couldn't get their stuff together, is not a risk I'm prepared to take,
No words can fix any of this... Prayers to all of you.
My kids have been taken from me .... i can't stop crying ,, i think about them 24/7,,, Their bed rooms are right across the hall with all their belongings and everything ,,,,, i still have the xmas tree up with all their Gifts under it, im hurting so bad, ? how does a man cope with this situation ? please pray for my children and i, god bless you all.
This empty filling of being able To spend enough time with my kids is killing me. its been 4 years now from my divorce and I can't still Accept the fact that I am being told by a peace of paper when and when I can not be with my kids,it hurts so much for my two little ones to call me every day crying wishing they where with me...that they miss me and that love me very much,it hurts to know that I can't be there for them when there sad or hurt, to be able to hold them every day,I'm lost I don't know what too do anymore!!!
I haven't seen or spoke to my son in four months. My daughter is so angry with me she doesn't want to see me. I've been out of the house since August and miss being a dad. All was good until mom got the divorce papers then she turned evil and the kids immediately don't want anything to do with me. I love my children. We were very close. I was a very good dad and very active in their lives. I could not live with my wife anymore but I had know idea I would lose my kids. I miss being a dad. I have pictures of my kids everywhere because I miss them so bad but it hurts to look at them. I've thought of putting them away because it hurts to bad. I think about them constantly. The divorce is not final. I submitted 50/50 custody but I don't think the kids want to see me at all. Mom has them convinced that I left them. I left her, not them. I'm lost. No end in sight. Can't imagine never being with my kids again.
hey john sorry for late reply. im in a similar situation. heres what you need to do...realise its not your fault, its the profit making agencys within whatever country your in END OF. look at examples of child cases i did it myself it takes a lot of trawling but hopefully you will come to the same realisation that you have been cheated(its not fair). please try an keep your head up, i feel like dying a lot, but i know if i do my kids will never hear my side of story an more than likely think it was there fault. your not alone
good shout barry. they already know the laws arent suitable but it makes lots an lots of money for agencys. i hope we see a change in our lifetime. take care
how do you cope...come on here my friend its gloomy but it shows your not alone and your not worthless or anythin like that you are going through the grief almost like someones death but you have to be strong cause they are with you will be forever till you do see eachother again....i came on here last night thinkin allsorts an grieving but i can honestly say i get a weird sense of comfort knowin im not alone all this time after 2 years of pain an nw not seeing my kids for 3 months knowin i probably may never see them again. and listen everyone you need to try an distract yourselves now again you deserve a break everyone whos sufferin...take care
hey craig i recently came here and realised all these people need looking after and treated with a lot more respect. is there like a site you can goto or can you get someone to make a free app with all us lost souls in a family dilemma can goto to look at forums swap experiences and inbox eachother an stuff...seems like a simple idea to me. whos up for it ?.
craig thank you for remindin im not alone
Anonymous from 1/26/2016: Email me at craigd2599@gmail.com I am thinking about putting my radio show back on and perhaps I might build a website where we can host forums.
Craig
since Feb. 2006 I feel for you all. Mark
My boy was five last December...last time I saw him was the day she left...he was six months old...she moved hundreds of miles away..not one picture or phone call...have tried mediation and contact centres...am now going to court..I feel lost and hopeless right now
Stay strong pal. Court is the right place. It is slow but you get there in the end.
MY wife has been turning my boys against me for years then I found out that she has been cheating on me. We are now getting a divorce that she has initiated and she has destroyed my relationship with my boys to such an extent that they want to be with her ... I have moved country to support her career now I am stuck in foreign land that I don't want to be in without career that I sacrificed and living apart from my boys ...I am scared, lonely and worry for my boys and my future. I FEEL LIKE A VICTIM, TRAUMATISED BY THIS ...
You need to turn these posts into a book. The word needs to get out Divorce destroys lives, Dads are people too
I've read most of the comments and stories on here. Unfortunately I am in the same boat as most of you. I've been divorced for almost 3 years now. I have three kids, ages 7, 5, and 3. My ex cheated on me numerous times and I simply had had enough. I told her I wanted a divorce. Due to money, we filed a no contest divorce, meaning that it wasn't the fault of either party. Before we filed, I asked my son (the oldest) and my older daughter who they would prefer to stay with but explained that they would get to see the other one whenever they wanted. My ex and I always agreed on that. Unfortunately due to me being the one that always punished them when they were bad, they chose her. Now, three years later, she has moved out with the latest guy she cheated on me with and left the kids with her parents. I am not able to support them and myself yet. Due to my old landlord selling their house, I had to move out and get an apartment. During this time, my car broke down and as the saying goes, when it rains it pours. As it is, I'm behind on all of my bills except my rent. I am taking online classes to be able to get a better job so that I can get full custody of my kids. They deserve to live with one of their parents. I am eternally grateful for my ex's parents as they take care of the kids and make sure they are happy and healthy. Ok can't type more. Thank you for having this blog.
I can honestly see and feel the pain everyone gere us going tho
Wish my girls would answer thier phones
I remember telling my male friend, "Now I know what it feels like to be a man." This statement was made after I was told by the grandmother of my children that she would not be returning my 4 and 5 year old daughters to me after I allowed them to go see the dad and family that lived in California. The grandmother decided to judge me as a single parent despite no attempt by her or her son to offer any assistance in raising my two precious daughters. Do you know what a wild animal will do when their babies are threatened? No one talks about those primative feelings that we have as a protection mechanism being human. Visualizing is a technique I practiced to help me in life... Like visualizing a specific outcome desired etc. losing weight, gaining muscle, buying a nice car. Sometimes, I would take it to the dark side and visualize what I would do if my child was ever abducted. There I stood in black clothing, army fatigues and big black boots strong enough to kick down every door of every dwelling in the vicinity. Of course, I had a gun...I wanted to stop whatever was in between me and my children. Yet, I have to act civilized. I was expected to act unnaturally, lower than an animal. Yes, men I know what it feels like to be you and it's hell. God help us.
I'm 7 months into a separation and divorce right now from my ex who.. For all intensive purposes felt like fate that we got together (dated in high school and after a 5 year break up and living in different cities we met back together at the same job). We were engaged for 2 years and got she got pregnant 2 months before our wedding and I couldn't have been happier. Now fast track 2 years... She wasn't working and I was a sole provider working afternoons and nights in a warehouse to put food on our table... Money was tight so we discussed her getting a job so we could provide a fantastic life for our son, then she gets pregnant once again. I'm thinking that it would be amazing to have another little mind in our family... But it wasn't meant to be. My wife becomes quiet... And dismissive of me. For a period of around 5 months there is nothing I can do for the few hours a day I see her that will bring out a passion in her, she says that she had had a miscarriage and one child is enough, but that was it for our intimate relationship with each other. A couple months go by and she finds a job near where her parents live, so she takes my son and lives out of her old room. 2 months into this we are going on a date to a comic convention in the city with some friends and that's where it goes sideways. She suggests speed dating to me, and asks our friends who they would side with... That night we fight and in the morning she says she wants a trial separation. She doesn't show up for my sons birthday party and when I got "home" to her parents house I get a bag of socks and underwear and shown the door by her father.
It has been 7 months now, if dealing with the vindictive selfish person who I did not see was my wife... I get to see my son for an hour and a half during the weekdays after his daycare but, it only feels as if I am doing it for my exes convenience... And every other weekend. My ex claims that she can make any decision she wants because she is the primary residence of my son, living in her parents spare room. So far.. I am out 5 grand in legal fees and haven't even seen a court date where I am just fighting to stay an active parent in my sons life... Do I miss the relationship? Not really... But every moment I am not with my son is killing me. I don't make plans on the hope that I may be called to "watch my son for the evening" and have been diagnosed with depression by my doctor... I don't know what to do, is it really wrong that I want to fight to be a part of my sons life... Decisions made, holidays spent... Being able to Tuck him into bed more than two times every two weeks?
We all suffer the pain, I am sure the children miss us as well.
I am fortunate that my ex does not limit my time with them only the 600km between us now after she moved them home keeps us apart.
Not a day goes by the my heart does not miss them and the countless nights of crying myself to sleep does not help.
Our short visits are filled with joy and love but the pain of saying see you soon is hard to hold in.
Thank goodness I have work which keeps my mind occupied during the day.
I only hope my children are happy and do not suffer the pain that I do.
Facetime, letters, postcards and even scrapbook of us together help to keep in contact.
Be strong Dads one day they will be old enough to make their own decisions and we can only make sure they remember the effort we make to be a part of their lives.
After almost dying of Viral Meningitis, my wife decided to leave me because I did not like to travel like her twin sister and husband do. That is what broke the camels back I think. Anyway, we have a daughter(2) at the time and she files for divorce. Thank God that I have 50% of my daughter. But I know when she grows old enough she is going to want to stay with her mother because of the neighborhood she lives in. I sometimes cry when I don't have my daughter even though I see he 50% of the time. I wish I could have my baby with me all the time. I truly miss her.
Hi friends,
I have read some comments, and still think that, if a child doesn't want to see dad, logically there shall me someone continuously manipulating their minds, twisting and reminding bad memories, and this can only be our exes ! I am not for all exes, only talking general,but they can be more cruel than we think. Even though they say they try their best for us, they are happy not to..They can play tricks on children's minds and keep the hate warm there. I witnessed this when i decided to start listening them while I am away and couldnt believe in my ears when I saw a woman using her child, programming an innocent mind against daddy, just for revenge ! Ex wifes so smartfully twist their minds, and take their revenge from their ex husbands by using their children...They can look sad for you, secretly are happy to make us pay...b) Just consider this before blaming yr children and focus on learning the real reason that makes our children apart...Good luck to all of us...
I had a 2 year protective order wrongfully placed against me and legally cant see my precious daughter. I made mistakes but nothing close enough to deserve an outcome like this. I would give anything material to get a one hour supervised visit. I just want to kiss her cheek, hold her and remind her that i still exist. I hope she knows who i am when i finally get my moment. If i could just hear her talk it would change my perspectives and attitude. I never had a family, but i now know what love is and the pain ive endured is worse than anything ive ever been through. I just man up, swallow my tears, and wait emotionless, empty months until i will be able to hold my little angle.
Google led me here. Early Sunday morning and just have to drop this mental dump somewhere.
I just picked up my disabled son from ex's. 2 boys now 18 and 16 and mom left 6 years ago. 20 years of marriage and never unfaithful. She left while I was tending to my brother 400 miles away - dying of cancer. Timing seemed to be linked to her father passing and the family farm coming to her. She worked 2 years of the 20 she was with me and left so she didn't have to share "her" money. But I don't blame her because we both have had the worst possible shit hit us.
While her estate is worth a couple million, I have nothing but what I make working at home doing freelance ad work. She moved all the financial furniture (with my cooperation) so it appears she has nothing, gets nothing from me and gets government support, child support and all the respite. Shitty right -but she is not the "winner". Our youngest on good days has had 10-20 seizures a day for all but the first 6 months of his 16 years. Pockets of 100's have brought us into hospital each year for several weeks to as much as a month. During which time I work during the day then spend 8 hours at the hospital so mom can go home to shower and care for our other son. Now older, he can mostly care for himself but still needs help with his diabetes - type 1 diabetes since 13.
It's hard to complain about my situation given what she has taken on - that's the shit though. I rent my basement out, the house is in disrepair, spent all of the 100k my brother and mother willed to me, my truck is rusting and I can only work 20 hours a week for clients willing to work around my schedule - All if I want to keep my son out of a home and prevent his very likely death.
He sleeps with us at night and is watched 24/7 because any one of his seizures could end his life. He stops breathing through them.
So boohoo me - mom's got a crappy deal too right?!! Exactly.
I kept the boys half-time for 2 years but was impossible financially without help. She doesn't need to/ and now can't work. But while 50/50, she waited for me to fry and eventually bot the boys full-time. Her family bought her a new house, community helped get her a new accessible van, several lifts and ramps around her house, bathroom lift, O2 monitor, feeding chair and 3 days a week respite. I have him every weekend sat sun and wed pm so I can give her relief and see him. Basically 1/4 time...but I have no support, no lifting aids, no ramps, no feeding chair, no family money, no help AND I have to earn enough money to support myself and help her. FUGGGGG!
Mom doesn't spend a lot of time worried about my situation, but I have spent countless hours worried over hers. Because I recognize despite my being a victim of her manipulation, the boys are the ones that get hurt if I don't help their mom.
She's also been in a serious relationship for 3 years with a single man with a huge ranch a few hours away. He bought a large acreage minutes south of the city $$$ just to be near her, and my oldest now stays there full time.
I struggle trying to reconcile being grateful/happy for their/her good fortune as I watch her get on with her life while I can't/don't. She would have cut me off completely if she didn't need my help with our youngest. I'm stuck. If I choose to move on I might see my youngest die if placed in a home where they can't possibly care for him the way we have. If I choose to continue feeding her situation I will surely loose my opportunity at a new life with an amazing woman and her young daughter I've been seeing. She too is throwing resources at this situation to my ex's benefit.
I pray daily for answers - the only one I continue to get is to help this poor young man, my son, any way I can. Even if it means bankruptcy...happy to do it!! But what if - my ex has enough resources to help and she is not. What if she is using my son to hurt me and keep me stuck. How do I know...thanks for listening.
Google led me here. Early Sunday morning and just have to drop this mental dump somewhere.
I just picked up my disabled son from ex's. 2 boys now 18 and 16 and mom left 6 years ago. 20 years of marriage and never unfaithful. She left while I was tending to my brother 400 miles away - dying of cancer. Timing seemed to be linked to her father passing and the family farm coming to her. She worked 2 years of the 20 she was with me and left so she didn't have to share "her" money. But I don't blame her because we both have had the worst possible shit hit us.
While her estate is worth a couple million, I have nothing but what I make working at home doing freelance ad work. She moved all the financial furniture (with my cooperation) so it appears she has nothing, gets nothing from me and gets government support, child support and all the respite. Shitty right -but she is not the "winner". Our youngest on good days has had 10-20 seizures a day for all but the first 6 months of his 16 years. Pockets of 100's have brought us into hospital each year for several weeks to as much as a month. During which time I work during the day then spend 8 hours at the hospital so mom can go home to shower and care for our other son. Now older, he can mostly care for himself but still needs help with his diabetes - type 1 diabetes since 13.
It's hard to complain about my situation given what she has taken on - that's the shit though. I rent my basement out, the house is in disrepair, spent all of the 100k my brother and mother willed to me, my truck is rusting and I can only work 20 hours a week for clients willing to work around my schedule - All if I want to keep my son out of a home and prevent his very likely death.
He sleeps with us at night and is watched 24/7 because any one of his seizures could end his life. He stops breathing through them.
So boohoo me - mom's got a crappy deal too right?!! Exactly.
I kept the boys half-time for 2 years but was impossible financially without help. She doesn't need to/ and now can't work. But while 50/50, she waited for me to fry and eventually bot the boys full-time. Her family bought her a new house, community helped get her a new accessible van, several lifts and ramps around her house, bathroom lift, O2 monitor, feeding chair and 3 days a week respite. I have him every weekend sat sun and wed pm so I can give her relief and see him. Basically 1/4 time...but I have no support, no lifting aids, no ramps, no feeding chair, no family money, no help AND I have to earn enough money to support myself and help her. FUGGGGG!
Mom doesn't spend a lot of time worried about my situation, but I have spent countless hours worried over hers. Because I recognize despite my being a victim of her manipulation, the boys are the ones that get hurt if I don't help their mom.
She's also been in a serious relationship for 3 years with a single man with a huge ranch a few hours away. He bought a large acreage minutes south of the city $$$ just to be near her, and my oldest now stays there full time.
I struggle trying to reconcile being grateful/happy for their/her good fortune as I watch her get on with her life while I can't/don't. She would have cut me off completely if she didn't need my help with our youngest. I'm stuck. If I choose to move on I might see my youngest die if placed in a home where they can't possibly care for him the way we have. If I choose to continue feeding her situation I will surely loose my opportunity at a new life with an amazing woman and her young daughter I've been seeing. She too is throwing resources at this situation to my ex's benefit.
I pray daily for answers - the only one I continue to get is to help this poor young man, my son, any way I can. Even if it means bankruptcy...happy to do it!! But what if - my ex has enough resources to help and she is not. What if she is using my son to hurt me and keep me stuck. How do I know...thanks for listening.
Been there, still there... I have not seen my youngest in 4 years and the others in 5. They are told that I am an evil devil worshipping man... In reality... I am a chronic pain specialist and somantic therapist. My clients do not know the depth of pain we feel. I help them heal and deal with emtional trama.
We are in hell and you can not escape it. Why because our children are locked in time from we last saw them. I always dream of children at the age they where. They haved moved on, but we can not.
So how do we deal with it?
For me being the BEST MAN I can be in making the world a better place. So if they choose to know me I can shine a light on the lie they where told.
I feel you my brothers!!!! I wish you love, healing, and peace.
Go be the best Man and prove them wrong! That is what I am doing.
There is a lot of pain on this blog. Married 30 years and one day all's gone. 4 kids oldest 22 youngest 18. They left with there mother will not answer phone calls or text message. I miss my girls so much Cry every day for the past 4 years. Any thing triggers my attack movie, watching other family's, and kids. I got the home that we all started life in. Setting here so quiet knowing what happened here good times. Money no problem have plenty of that. Broken heart wish money could fix that. Its killing me. Hate is a terrible thing its like a virus it infects and grows like a cancer.
Im dying inside not seeing my boys everyday
I hurt every day it's been two years now and now we are going back to court on a retrial after the first trial was thrown out of court by a new judge. I dont get to see any of my three daughters but maybe one of them for one hour a week on am occasion. I think of them every day and night and wonder if and when i will get to see them.
I am tired and hurt and wonder if at times if its best that i just walk away and let them grow up with me out of their life's. I am so confused and hurt and half no answers at this point.
I hurt every day it's been two years now and now we are going back to court on a retrial after the first trial was thrown out of court by a new judge. I dont get to see any of my three daughters but maybe one of them for one hour a week on am occasion. I think of them every day and night and wonder if and when i will get to see them.
I am tired and hurt and wonder if at times if its best that i just walk away and let them grow up with me out of their life's. I am so confused and hurt and half no answers at this point.
I'm just finding out how hard it is as me and my wife split up a little over a month ago now, she moved my twin 3 year old girls up to her parents about 3 hours away just as I was losing my driving licence! I'm a plumber and now have no way to work and my gorgeous little girls have lost their daddy I was their hero and loved every second but now I feel like my heart has been ripped out and this lump in my throat is never going away!! Some days I can't do anything for the tears I feel like I'm suffocating in misery so it is good to feel like I'm not the only one! I'm seeing them this weekend but am already dreading giving them back I just keep hoping it's going to get better soon!
I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS NOT SEEING YOUR KIDS, I REALLY THINK PEOPLE DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS LIKE.'I FEEL FOR ALL THOSE FATHER'S WHO GO THREW THIS.
I'm at my wits end. I have my kids to my ex after having them for 6 months after our divorce back in 2009. I did this thinking it was the best thing to do because I couldn't find work after being a stay at home mom so many years and he wasn't paying me child support. Now he has them and has basically pushed me out of every aspect of their life except when they are in trouble at school and he asks me to handle it. I can't financially make it to school functions 8 hours away so I get told how I don't care and I'm a lousy mom. He doesn't send me pictures, he doesn't record things, I can't take them to the dr without his consent, I don't get report cards or updates on anything in their life unless it's from my daughter all while he harrasses me calling me a piece of shit to the point of me having to block his phone number. We have to communicate through email to have documentation because he lies in court about everything. Now the kids are a paycheck to him. He takes every last dime he can from me. He even went as far as raising my child support by telling the courts he could only work part time and As soon as it was raised and set, he got a great full time job. Now he has great income, most of my part time minimum wage income, and my son's social security checks. He gets all this even when they are with me in the summer. So while I'm struggling to feed them, he is taking summer vacations on their dime! They get mad at me because he is the fun cool dad that takes them places and buys them everything they want and I am the strict mom that punishes them for calling each other names, that limits/monitors their internet and tv usage, and that has to tell them no to buying things or doing things that cost money. The kids don't even think of my home as another home because him and his family call it their summer vacation home. The kids rarely call me when they are with him but call him multiple times a day When they are with me. I feel like they have become his spies. They go back and report to him about my household. Now he is emailing me and telling me my kids are saying they don't like to be here and my house isn't fun, it's a drama house, and that they don't like it because we beg them to move down here which isn't true at all. I don't know what to do about this. My kids are o, 13, and 15. Should I discuss this with them? Should i show them proof that he says these things about them and ask them if it is true that they say these things? I'm at the point of I don't know if I even want them to come here anymore because they are completely against me, disrespect me, and have been turned into his spies. I'm at my wits end, any suggestions?
"Mm Mac said..."
Oh man, that sounds terrible, the only thing I can think of to say
is don't loose hope, when the kids are old enough they'll understand
and want to know their dad. Find a friend, talk to someone, don't
keep all of this inside or it's going to crush you. Stay strong!
every time I return to this site I cry and feel pain, why are
men treated so bad when it's about kids (excluding violent etc people),
even it television commercials the dad is always the stupid one.
"there is no sight more sad than empty kids bedroom"
-scandinavian
Well, there is one thing for sure...I'm not alone! Sharing experiences helps, even if a little. Maybe I'll share my story later, but if your reading this you've probable gone or are going through very hard times. It's damn hard to pick yourself up, chose a new path, and live a life as a great dad by being there for the kids, despite ex-wives who will stoop to any level to manipulate the kids away from their fathers. Sure, there are many piece of crap fathers all over the world, and ex-wives are happy that they exist...because that's what they can use against fathers because the failings of the U.S. family law legal system. You may have seen the Netflix show "Making of a Murderer" Now wait, don't jump to any conclusions- my comparison has nothing to do with an ex-wife turning her husband into a murderer. Although, many of us, despite the fact that we would never murder, do have an insight/understanding into how a human being could be pushed to the limits to commit such a horrendous act. Why I truly mention "Making of a Murderer" is because it's a show that illustrates weaknesses in the U.S. Court system. But the criminal system has very little over family law. If the creators/directors really wanted to hammer the U.S. legal system, they should make a series focusing on how family law, judges, and attorneys fail fathers and their children each and every day based on the mother's manipulation and aggressiveness all in the name of "winning."
Hi. I am praying for everyone, and this also includes me. After 16 years of marriage, and three wonderful little girls, my wife got more and more distant. We had a great family, but she chose not to confront me or complain about what she wanted changed. We really did not have any issues big enough to merit destroying a very good home. But she went ahead after getting very distant from me, and had the papers served. I could not take it attempted suicide and got thrown into jail as a result of my suicide attempt. So now I have a felony and for the first time in my life I am in this type of trouble. But I do want to point all of you to the living God. There is hope in Jesus Christ. He had a very harsh life. God can be with us during these terrible trials.
I don't know what else to say but that I will pray for all of you with compassion and really hope that you can see some healing in your lives. sincerely, wishing you the best
Im 21, i have a 2 year old boy and 1 year old girl. My kids mom wont let me see them. i dont know why im even posting this. But i hurt every night when i see their pictures and start crying. Im in the process of trying to get visitation, sucks how this world is. I need to pay to see my own kids. Money isnt an issue. Thanks to all of yall for posting. It really helped me out a little.
Im 21, i have a 2 year old boy and 1 year old girl. My kids mom wont let me see them. i dont know why im even posting this. But i hurt every night when i see their pictures and start crying. Im in the process of trying to get visitation, sucks how this world is. I need to pay to see my own kids. Money isnt an issue. Thanks to all of yall for posting. It really helped me out a little.
Im stuck between god,my kids,being a good daddy and my ar,glock
I read the post about the gentleman that had the six figure income and half a million. I was at the same stage. When my ex suddenly left I should have called child protective services and told them my kids have been kidnapped i am a buiness man and was at a 1 to 1 ratio 2 million assets one million cashares. And 2 million borrowed. Right after she filed for divorce the bank called all my loans due in full. Had I to do over I would have liquidated then...I tried to keep running the business in chapter 11. In the end the lawyers got all the money and 4 years later I was bankrupt. And still on supervised visits. I come on and off of supervised buT I feel if I were poor to start out with I wouldn't have been looked at as the money bag and suckes me dry fighting to see my 2 wonderfull kid's.
so much pain...that no one but readers of this blog understand. the feeling of being robbed... in a way you never imagined before... because we used to be strong... we knew that we can take anything, overcome any robbery... anything that this ...life could throw to us...And somehow, we took comfort in our kids...the link was the true source of our strength. whether we understood it or not...but now you understand when it's taken... then you understand you had no idea. and you feel like you are going to snap. cause the only thing that actually matters to you , was taken from you. essentially, you lost everything. because your kid IS EVERYTHING to you.
to readers that are new to this feeling - try to keep your sanity. yes, i know it sounds impossible. just realize you do not have any other real option. do not turn to alcohol, drugs, other women, rage... anything that you think it might help you. listen carefully - nothing is going to take the pain away. it will always come back, it will always be there. so do not make your life worse than it is right now.
some say that we fall so we learn how to stand up. it's in our own interest that we all learn from this experience. remember the definition of insanity - to make same choices over and over again, and to expect different results. think about it.
I never imagined this unbearable pain in my life....4 kids ages 15, 13, 9, 4......2 years after divorce, i cry a river every time they leave. The only thing that helps is giving myself pain...boxing, lifting boulders. I just don't see myself ever coping with this. Someone else is driving my babies around, raising them. All I feel is pain.
I died on 3/15/2016 in a starbuck in new lenox Illinois. my younger daughter told me she didn't want a relationship with me, and neither did my older daughter. I spent almost $180,000 in legal fees to preserve my kids rights to see me, and they both just cast me aside like an old shoe.
yeah, I died right there and then. I drove 1000 miles to get my azz handed to me in court again and then my baby girl tells me to go to hell. it was a very long ride home. my brother called me every hour to make sure I was still alive. ok I was alive but not alive. I went back to my job the following Monday and was a zombie for the next 2 months.
I wanted to drive over to their house, park in the driveway and set the car on fire, or shoot myself on their front steps.. the courtroom was a disaster. I asked for relief in child support. I make $1500 a month, basically living hand to mouth after rent, school loans and huge debts. Judge decided because I wasn't taking the kids on my weekends that I pay all the child support...870 a month. Soooo I guess I wont make the rent. I spent the last 2 months of the school year living in my car. Yeah Im a middle school teacher. kids kissed me off, ex wife who makes $150K a year gets my $870 I needed for rent money.
The kids accused me of lying to them about how their mother was evil...what do you call someone who wakes up one morning and demands I get out of my own house, and spends 6 years and $200K destroying me piece by piece. she raises money for team in training and takes money from a homeless ex-husband. If that is not evil I don't know what is.
I just sold my car for food and a better tent. I live in a migrant worker camp. I'm going to try to hook up with family this summer. I have a bicycle and a 1500 mile journey ahead of me.
I gave my kids blankets away to migrant kids... I cant fit them in my rucksack. omg my kids cast me out having been beaten down and broken by a narsisist mom and money grabbing psychiatrist. some other mope is sitting on my couch, watching my tv and my kids like him. what the fhappened? god dam facebook happened. she found her old hs boyfriend and started talking.
blitch makes 9000 a month and she has to take my 870, half my take home pay...and my kids think she is wonderful.
fwiw the ex was a raving lunatic while we were married...stabbed me twice, beat me down anytime I was sick, slapped me around while I was sitting on the throne with the runs and flu. killed me for putting the silverware in the dishwasher tines down, argued about what order I did the chores, how I folded her socks, when I mowed the lawn, crabbed about the way I drove, choice of route, blotched about kids toys on the floor, the exact time for supper, beat me while I was sleeping then complaining about me sleeping in the couch or on the floor.
Be a raving lunatic with your houseguest, but give me my kids!
Maybe I am better off alone. I cant trust anone cant let anyone get close because ill lose what little I have. I have a couple changes of clothes, some cans of food, some cash a tent and a bicycle. This is the third time ex has made me homeless. each time it is harded and harder to wake up in the morning and convince myself that today be a better day than yesterday. I'll open my email and find a job opportunity or a note from my kids. the inly email I ever got from my kids was to kiss me off, I thought the ex wrote it.
march 15 2016 is the day I died. I don't know what I am now, zombie, being, thing...what. I cant cry anymore. I cant appeal to the judge, I lose every time. ex wont make a deal. I exist but that's about all. they told me to go away so easily. their mother sat a coupe seats away in the starbucks and had such a proud shitt eating grin on her face like months of hard work paid off in some kind of stage performance. omg my little girl 14 years old looked like 20 and so mature told me to f off.
she was so beautiful I hadn't seen her in 7 months. and now she is gone. gone now what
"FIGHT" "NEVER GIVE UP" FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT FIND THE RIGHT ATTORNEY AND FIGHT IF YOU DON'T HAVE MONEY THEN FIND A WAY TO FIGHT NEVER SURRENDER!!!
It is one week until Father's Day. I guarantee I will not see my daughter's for the fifth straight Father's Day. My ex has poisoned my little girls that I love more than my own life against me and I'm beyond repair I feel. I did everything for my daughters while they were growing up and definitely don't deserve the treatment I am getting. My ex makes tons of money and I do not as I have worked in a grocery store for 30 years. It seems that she has been able to buy my daughter's love. They are 24 and 20 now and I know that they are old enough to make their own choices now but because the last five years that I have not lived with them I was not there to defend all of the negativity and lies my ex told my girls. I can't say there has been one day since I left and my girls didn't want to sustain a regular relationship like we always have had that I haven't thought of the solution would be to not be here. That that would take the pain away. I live alone in a one-bedroom apartment I cannot move on with any other woman because of my depression. I pray daily to the Holy Father to soften their hearts to let me back in because we had such a beautiful relationship growing up. My daughters were and will always be my life. I try through text and phone calls but they are either not return or something horrible is sent to me. I don't deserve any of this. I want to enjoy life again. Craig I know that there are so many dads that have gone through this and I pray for them but I ask that you please pray for me because I M growing weaker. Thank you for the opportunity to tell my story. It might help me if I can see it on your site. I know I am not alone. God bless all of you dads that are missing your children. Because I know that it is a living hell on Earth.
Currently seperated and in divorce process, out of nowhere. No talking, no counselling, nothing. We have a 16 month old daughter together who I haven't seen in almost a week. I was forced to move out of the house and get a cheap apartment, struggling to pay my rent, bills but prioritizing daycare money because I don't want to give her an excuse to prevent me seeing my daughter for even longer. I raised my daughter as a stay at home dad for the first year of her life, was unable to work due to immigration process. My wife won't let me see her unsupervised. She's insisting I see her in mutual ground supervised and it will be another week before her attorney can set that up. I'm devastated. I've never been without her for this long. Im originally from the uk and only came to the us for my wife. I've just lost my whole world and I have no friends or family over here to support me. What kills me is the notion of never ever being able to have a normal life with mu daughter again. Reading these comments has assured me that this pain will remain for many years to come. We're in Missouri so there is no chance I could win custody of her even if I had the money to put up a legal fight. My wife has refused to allow me to see her unsupervised no matter how hard I have tried to convince her. I feel she just wants to see me suffer as much as possible. Without seeing mu daughter none of the heartache I am going through seems worth it. I can't look at a picture of her without crying. The thought of suicide provides me no comfort. I know I have to stay strong through all this pain for my daughter. I'm trying to keep as busy as I can but it's difficult when I'm off work. Bringing life into this world was the greatest joy I ever experienced. It taught me what was important in life, that my old habits were not. It taught me how to care for another life more than my own. It had me smiling every night when I watched her sleep and every morning when I woke her up. On the other hand...there is no greater pain, no greater loss...than losing that child. Heartbroken.
I feel the pain of each of you whose stories I actually had time to read . They are so many! All slightly different except for the pain without your kids. I never post anything anywhere, but I am up at 3am trying to catch up on the work that I put aside so I could spend the whole day yesterday with my son. And it was totally worth it! This is my second go around with all of this. I'm 58 years old and have a 17 month old little boy who is the world to me. I have two grown kids, a son 36 and a daughter 34. I am blessed to have a grandchild from each of them as well! My newest son is the younger uncle to my grandkids. Yep, it gets confusing to me too sometimes. I wish I could take the encouragement right now that I want to give to you all and that is, that the pain doesn't linger and last forever and that if you just try your best and don't let your ex get to your head, things will ultimately work out for you and your kids. My two grown children were subjected to my divorce from their mother when they were 6 and 4. I have maintained a great relationship with them all during their lives and still do to this day . For that I am blessed and it is expressed in my statement of gratitude to my higher power every day ! Somehow this time it's different for me and much more difficult even. I guess it's because now at my age, I enjoy being a father even more. Actually way more than I remember the first time. I guess because I'm way less selfish now, but the fact of my mortality hits home so much more now that I guess I am selfish in another way because I want to spend as much time as possible with my son. I know I want be there for all of the things I was with my two oldest kids, like weddings, grandkids and possibly even high school graduation! It's tuff. I won't get into all the feelings about my soon to be ex because that's not even important to me. I guess I just needed to say something, somewhere. If there is any advice I could give to anyone out there that has posted here, it would be to just do your best and be the better person when it comes to your ex pulling all of the crap they pull. Don't let that interfere with the times you do spend with your kids and don't talk bad about her. You will gain so much more love and respect from your children and you will actually respect yourself more too. It's hard but anything worth anything is. To quote : " do the essy things and it makes your life hard. Do the hard things and it makes your life easy ". My best wishes and prayers and positive energy goes out to each and every one of you. Thank you for this blog and hug your kids and tell them you live them just as much as possible. Take care.
I'm separated from my ex and this will likely end in divorce. Luckily we want to go the uncontested route and don't want to get lawyers involved. We found this app: www.thistoo.co ...and I was just wondering if anyone else has used it for their uncontested divorce? I'm still in the research phase so would appreciate any feedback or other suggestions.
Thanks!
My son was eight when me and his mother got divorced. Needless to say I made my mistakes. He just turned twelve and the last time I had him for visitation was three years ago. His mom moved from Louisiana to Washington without letting me know another violation of the court order. I only found out after I started receiving child support payments that I had paid via Louisiana. The court order stated that I had visitation during the summer. It also stated that there was to be a open line of communication between him and I. Specifically a cell phone which I bought so I could keep in contact. She took that away from him. I struggled to pay the child support at first because I was trying to get on my feet after the divorce. I pay it on time every month for the last couple of years. The last time I talked to her I said I would like to talk to him and send him something for his birthday, clothes, and shoes. She says he decided he didn't want to talk to me and wouldn't give me an address to send gifts to him. She has broken every bit of what was laid out in the court order. I am beside myself. At first I was angry. Now I'm just at the point where I am miserable and depressed all the time. It's all I think about everyday. I don't even get away from it in my sleep because I have nightmares about it. I miss my son so much. I a dad living with a broken heart.
When you find a way to move forward. Share I'm in the same boat. Thought I was strange for crying. Good Luck
I moved the US so my kids mom could be with her family, we have two kids together.. Soon as we moved here she wasn't interested in me and basically ignored me. I moved out after 2 years and she got with another guy right away. I tried getting back with her but she wasn't interested. That was 3.5 years ago. We have two kids: 7 n 4, I miss them like crazy every single minute of every day. My heart breaks for them. I try for 50-50 but the ex won't allow it, I have no money for lawyers. The kids are the only reason I stay in this country and I'm not even allowed to see them 50-50. I get extended every other weekends. I've felt like going back home, but I can't, I miss them too much as it is. I have no family here just and few friends. I feel like giving up but can't. I have turned to drink just to drown out the pain of missing them and I don't think I'm going to last much longer..
WONZA, STOP THE DRINKING AND TRY TO GET YOURSELF TOGETHER. DRINKING WILL NOT HELP OR SOLVE THE PROBLEM, GO TO YOUR COUNTY DIVISION OF FAMILY SERVICES AND SEEK LEGAL ASSISTANCE FROM THEM IT IS BASED ON YOUR INCOME. THEY CAN HELP YOU FIGHT FOR CUSTODY RIGHTS ALSO CONTACT LOCAL ATTORNEY'S AND ASK THEM IF THE KNOW OF ANY ATTORNEYS THAT ARE ASSISTING IN HELPING PEOPLE THAT ARE IN FINANCIAL NEED OF LEGAL ASSISTANCE. THEIR ARE ORGANISATION IN EVERY STATE THAT HELP LIKE THAT IT IS A PROGRAM THAT SOME ATTORNEYS BELONG TOO TO GET STATE ASSISTANCE TO DO THAT BUT YOU HAVE TO FIND THEM.
STAY STRONG AND NEVER GIVE UP THE FIGHT!!!!
I miss my children it has been 4 yrs
Good evening everyone, I'm actually dealing with pain myself. I miss my son so much , it literally hurts! I was 21 when I got my ex pregnant and 23 when I committed adultery and got my work secretary pregnant. I'm not saying this for Pitty nor boasting about it, it happened and now I'm hurting. Me and my ex never really got along , and me and my current girlfriend(secretary) are living together and are actually happy and we are very much on the same page BUT I miss my son so much! My ex knows the only way to make me hurt is by not telling my see him ONLY every other weekend. No FaceTime or anything. I understand she's hurt and is in pain but don't put the kids in the middle. I miss him so much that I sometimes take it out on my current gf. I can't help but feel like I can't be happy when I don't have my son. He's my world and I love him. I know I never thought of it while I was out doing my thing and I'm truly sorry about that, I understand I have to suffer the consequences that God has placed for me , but when she does this and uses my son I hurt so much! Please someone respond in how to deal with this :/
With Tears in my eyes I read this post..Thank you for making this blog and letting me know that I am not alone in feeling this way.
It's now midnight and it's only been two nights without seeing my baby girl thats 8 months. I miss her so much and I just feel like a bad father for not being there and just not knowing what she is doing or just not seeing her smile and laugh. It's killing me inside, my dad was never around and I want to be the best father that I can be. I been back and forth with my wife now for the past 3 weeks but everytime we just start fighting and arguing after a couple of days I come back so I know we just don't work we tried. I miss my baby girl, everything reminds me of her. I try to stay busy and work a lot but nights when I am in bed I can't sleep and my mind wanders. I'm 25 years old and just need ways to cope with these feelings cause it hurts badly.
My ex thought it would be a great Xmas present to our lives with our then 6 yr old son to separate two weeks before Xmas, I tried to convince her to stay but in the end helped her pack a few things and let her go stay at her dad's so in her words, "can get happy and bubbly again". As she walked out she asked if our son could go with her because if he didn't it would be mother abandonment**red flag goes off in my head** I tell her there's no reason he shouldn't stay in his home with me and she left awkwardly stating "I just need some time to decide if it's more worthwhile for me to be happy, or for you and (my son) to be happy. That was over 6 months ago but I remember it all like yesterday. After a week of leaving me and our son she came back, but my smile ran away quickly as she said she was just coming to get more things she needed and asked if we could set up an agreement for our son to spend time with her at her dad's. At this point we agreed to a 2-2-3 rotation and I felt my chances of keeping my family together getting worse every night. Just a week before Xmas, like a nightmare it was my time with our son so I drove to pick him up, she was at work and I walked into her dad's house to pick up my son and this notebook was sitting on a chair and my heart was screaming for me to open it. As I did, copies of our car and health insurance fell out as I turned the page I had found an entire plan laid out before my eyes with a checklist of things to do, to my horror on page two was a timeline on that she marked by month of getting divorced rolling, get our son into counseling, fixing up her dad's basement, and lastly having whom I later found to be her old flame come down and the two of them look for places. My reaction to this day I second guess, needless to say I exposed her affair to everyone after which she tells me that was the last straw, her family doesn't look at her the same, and she wanted a divorce. So here I am writing this after 6 months of ugly court proceedings, waiting impatiently for a new custody order, orginal hearing changed our 2-2-3 to me having first 3 weekends, pick him up from school everyday and drive him to her work when she gets off in the evening.(wth kind of order is that). I just want to let dad's out there know, don't give up, if your children mean everything to you, let them know it, see it, hear it, and promise as I promise my son, don't worry man, were the ******'s, and ******'s don't quit. And keep your promise as I do, and don't ever give up, keep your head up and focus on what's important, you and your children's happiness.
I am the father of three. My son 15, son 11, and daughter 7. Each is born 4 years apart. When their mother (my wife) and I separated we had an agreed 50/50 arrangement. No one was to blame, we simply fell out of love.
When she moved out and we started splitting up the children's clothing and toys it was gut wrenching. To think that our once happy family was breaking in two hurt me immensely. So much that from day one I felt sick to the stomach. As the days progressed to weeks I began to get sicker both physically and mentally. I became anxious without them. My heart would literally skip beats and hurt. My stomach would clench so tight in pain. The tears would flow like flash floods from out of nowhere. Now I find I am too sick to work, too sick to take care of my children that they spend 12 days with their mother and only 2 days with me. Physically and mentally it has destroyed me. I get anxious without them. I cry when I see them and I cry when my time with them is up. Meanwhile I yearn for them when they are not around. I feel sick, I cant sleep, I feel depressed and I feel physical pain that puts me into hospital by ambulance by way of anxiety, heartache and immense stomach pain without them. Their mother doesn't them to spend as much time with me anymore because she doesnt want them to have the responsibility of calling an ambulance when I am unwell. I was fine until the breakup. Can it hurt a man so immensely that he literally feels heartache and pain and has not recovered since? I miss my children everyday now. Reading stories to them when putting them to bed. Dad talks, cuddles, them running to my wrap themselves around my legs screaming 'daddy's home' when I walk through the front door after a hard day's work. It's all gone. I yearn for it all back again. I am missing out on so much. Yet when I am with them all my problems go away - even when my estranged wife comes to drop them off I feel complete. We have not officially divorced yet. It will break me. Is there something wrong with me to physically and mentally feel anxiety, anguish, pain and suffering when our family separated? It hurts inside so bad that I have not been able to function since. They were my life... my reason for being. Now it feels that I struggle to breathe without them. Yes, from day one I noticed the change.... and its only been 10 months since. I am frightened of being alone. I have no other person in my life and I have no interest in it. I am broken and slowly withering away and getting worse each day with depression and regret. It eats me up inside. I have no motivation. I dont smile anymore. My physical health has taken a plunge that I have developed a heart condition and arrhythmia as a result. I got gastritis in my stomach that was bordering near stomach ulcers from the worry and the pain. I cry myself to sleep at night or just burst out anytime for no reason. This is life with depression. My doctors have tried me on 3 different medications but each had damaging side effects that put me into hospital that they ceased them not long after commencing. I am a broken man and nothing seems to be able to fix me other than getting back what I once had.... a happy family.
Once you have outlived your use as a provider, its not uncommon for women to flip out for no reason whatsoever, especially if the husband gets sick. For richer for poorer, in sickness and in health.... yeah right. Many men are tossed out like old toys when they become sick because women cannot handle taking care of somebody else if they already feel that they are exhausted taking care of a family and holding it together day to day. She simply wasnt strong enough mentally and simply did not want the extra stress. Is she selfish? Yes. Were you to know? No. Relationships that are strong will endure and last through trying times. However relationships that were not built on solid foundations would start to crack and fall at the first sign of weakness. She was never the right one, not for you. Because a true partner would be there by your side through thick and thin instead of trying to dispose or replace you once you have satisfied her use. People simply cannot be tossed away like garbage or 2nd hand goods when they are not required anymore. She never learned that lesson in life. She never learned responsibility and commitment. It is not your fault. You cannot control another persons actions like you could not control getting sick. You need to take care of yourself now as you have trying times ahead of you. Let the life she chose to live without you be her own downfall. She will realise the error of her ways when the guilt eats her up inside. It will be up to you how you deal with her later because she will be begging for forgiveness from the shame she stares at in the mirror everyday.
Mate I feel for you. The Australian govt is so bias toward mothers that fathers are treated unfairly in breakups and custody disputes. I know, Ive seen it first hand. The Police and govt have a lot to answer for. They have been trained to give preference to mothers, even if mothers are alcohol or drug addicted abusive parents!! The fathers are taken advantage of. There are 100 women support groups for 1 male support group or victims of domestic disputes. You go to the police complaining about your wife sexually and physically assaulting you and they laugh at you. A woman does it and they are at your door in a split second with handcuffs and throw you in the slammer. My wife works for the Dept of Human Services and specialises in Child Support Payments. I have a friend who specialises is family law matters and I hear it all. False accusations of abuse against fathers, lying to fathers for years about who the real biological father of the child is, mothers abusing drugs and alcohol being allowed custody because they are unemployed and can stay at home as the main caregiver whilst the father is out working everyday to support them financially. The system is broken. Fathers in this country need a fairer deal. The women get all the preference. As soon as they mention 'abuse' a father is proclaimed guilty. Women say it on purpose. They all learn from all their other single mother friends who have separated and used the system to their advantage. Sadly the highest rate of divorce in Australia is from Fly in / Fly out families. As if the burden of working interstate supporting your family and not seeing your children take their first steps isnt bad enough, the women learn that they can live without you and all you are good for is a pay cheque. This is an ever increasing problem in this country. If you know someone in a fly-in/ fly-out relationship tell him to get his ass back home and work locally because 80% chance is she's going to file for separation once his next contract is up.
When you say "sometimes I don't want it to because I don't want to get used to it" I know exactly what you mean. I have my ex joint custody and he took them at sole. I get two hours of supervised visitation, every other week because I failed one drug test during our three year custody battle. I haven't seen my four kids for almost two months because he keeps rescheduling. I try my hardest to think about them all day, just to punish myself for what I've done. It's all my fault and there's nothing I can do to make things better. I pay my child support and shoe up to every visit. It's getting to the point they barely know who I am. I feel like every minute I'm not working should be spent on getting them back and I punis myself whenever I don't work on getting them back in my spare time. I'm currently representing myself in court. The pain, as if most don't know, its hurts so bad that it's pretry much physical. Like a pit in your stomach full of sadness and despair with no hope in sight. At least once a day, something makes me cry about them. Sometimes it's a song, a commercial, someone saying something that reminds me of them. I can't stand it. I've started Prozac just to help with the all the time sadness. It doesn't really help ad much as I'd like. So trust me. I get you. I feel like I have to hurt all the time. Every second that ticks by is another second of their childhoods I've missed as a result of my actions. It's pretty much unbarable. .
My daughters are 600 km away.Havent seen my ten year old in two years. Seen my 13 year old 8 months ago.The pain is unbelievable. It has had a massive effect on my mental health and will never be the same man i once was.family court orders are not worth the paper there written on if you are a man.So much pain.tired of it all.worst pain in the world i have ever experienced.
I will respectfully disagree with, or at least offer an alternative to, your comment about "no hurt on earth like"
When you marry a woman with children, you are expected to treat them as your children. What's more, if you are man worth your salt, that expectation doesn't matter; you simply WILL treat them like they are your children. Eventually, however, its no longer how you treat them; its how you view them. The word "step" is not in your mental vocabulary, and you only pull it out on "official" occasions (meeting teachers, etc). I don't remember the last time I used the term "step" to refer to my son or daughter in casual conversation.
And then they are gone. Your relationship with your children is completely at the whim of your ex-spouse. In my case, she decided (against my wishes and their literal begging) that I was to have nothing to do with them. I won't go into details here, but I was not abusive, nobody cheated, nothing like that.
There is no pain on Earth like having kids for 8 years and then suddenly, as far as the world is concerned, you just don't have kids anymore. But they are still there. There burned in your heart, seared in your soul. Forever. Its been a year, and this is a pain I am still not sure I will survive.
I have a 10 year old daughter that just recently moved from Maryland to Myrtle Beach and I have a condition with my brain and I miss her terribly I just don't know what to do I cry every night her mother and I were together for 14 years and I don't know what happened but my heart is broke and I don't know what to do
You cant give up. If you love your daughter then you will fight. Fight the hurt and do not give up for you and hear, you will probably never know the true meaning why but that does not matter now.
Never give up the fight and hope!
Hi.Im from New Zealand and my wife walked out on me last year (2015). She took up with the most notourious gangster,thug stand over criminal in the district where we live. We were both involved in drug use but I stopped as soon as she left. The idiot she hooked up with has gotten her hooked on something,meth I think and also got her involved in prostitution. At one point she was 'working' from the house where she had our kids. All absolutely heartbreaking. She seemed to think that I was going to stand by while this criminal became the kids step father but she was very much mistaken. I quit all the drugs, did a parenting course, lots of counselling and got back into Church life again. Took her to court and we have just finished our case.Well, almost. After reading some of the stories on here I consider myself very fortunate to live in New Zealand where the courts have a somewhat more enlightened view of the absolute nessisscity of Fathers. We have week about care now, subject to her passing a hair follicle drug test. If she fails I will have 12 days out of every fourteen. If she passes and we go to week about care she is not allowed the criminal anywhere near the children. Any breach and we go to 12/2. So a good result really. Sometimes things do work out although it may have been different if her new partner wasnt such a scumbag. Right now Im counting my blessings. Thanks.
I have shared custody of my 5 year old daughter. It's not 50/50 because of my work schedule. I'm up at 4:30am and off by 2pm so I see my daughter daily during the week then give her back to mom, showered and ready for bed. I keep her overnights every other weekend. I'm happy for the time I have with her but I stare at her empty bed when I don't have her over and it just hits hard. God never intended it to be this way. My ex just decided one day she was done with me, and proceeded to date a guy at work a week later, going to a parade with his son and my daughter, like an instant new family. Devastating.
My son is just over a year. His mom left me for someone else when he was only 9 months old. I see the confusion is his eyes every second weekend when I fetch him, the fake smile.. I have thought of literally everything i can possibly do to just get my boy with me but it's just not going to happen. I am missing so much and that's all that goes through my mind every minute of every day
This is how I've been feeling too and I'm so sorry for you, good luck my friend.
Hi guys, so many similar stories. Was divorced about 3.5 years ago and not a day that goes by that I'm not thinking about my baby girl. She was 2 at the time, I was so proud and happy to be a father and husband. My ex started cheating with a guy at work and shortly after we were divorced, but not by my choice, I would have tried anything to keep us together as a family. We have shared custody but we both live out of state. At the time I was in Ohio but later transferred with my job, so visiting is very difficult. Thank God for FaceTime. If I can turn the page back I would not have aloud her to take her out of state, just stayed in Ohio and looked for another job just so I can be with my daughter. Just never realized it was going to be this hurtful really. So many days and nights I cry just praying somehow someway we'll all be together again, but starting to realize that just may be wishful thinking. Holidays are the worst. Every day I'm finding myself lost, confused and hurting in how and why this happened, just never thought that she ( ex wife ) could do something so hurtful, to just rip my daughter from my life like that. Divorce is bad enough even when your in the same state, but to leave knowing you'll be 600 miles away just really takes a special person to do that. Just wish I would have stayed and fought to keep her in Ohio. Very sad
There there is no explanation I'm going through a tough time myself and it doesn't make sense to me just hang in there and have faith because everything happens for reason my friend
Good luck to you. I've just found this blog. I can kind of relate to what your going through so I just want to share my experience that you're not alone which I was feeling like for the past 3 1/2 months since my seperation with my ex. She's the mother of my two sons 2years old and my other less than a year. Unfortunately I havent seen my kids since then, I've been in treatment for my alcohol addiction since the same month we broke up.In this short period of time she's found somebody..someone I use to work with. It honestly hurt because she was seeing this guy for sometime and before we split she told me she had met someone else and it happened to be him. I couldn't believe that she told me that. Anyways, she continues to have contact with my mom and she drops either role of them off with for almost every weekend for he to go do whatever she does..partying. frankly I don't care but like you I'm afraid of my children's well being because she has her own issues with addiction. Sadly I'm in a recovery centre for approximately 1 year and I'm 4 hours away from my kids the only way for them to visit is if my mother can bring them but my ex is now causing drama saying my mom is no longer going to be seeing my kids anymore. I just don't know what to do anymore as of losing everything I valued in life..job,car,house,drivers license. I wish she care for my kids as much I care for them, she even told me many times she was going to give them up but now shes saying things like my family is not going to see them anymore and neither am I. I wish I could have custody or even 50/50. I just don't know what to do anymore.
Good luck to you. I've just found this blog. I can kind of relate to what your going through so I just want to share my experience that you're not alone which I was feeling like for the past 3 1/2 months since my seperation with my ex. She's the mother of my two sons 2years old and my other less than a year. Unfortunately I havent seen my kids since then, I've been in treatment for my alcohol addiction since the same month we broke up.In this short period of time she's found somebody..someone I use to work with. It honestly hurt because she was seeing this guy for sometime and before we split she told me she had met someone else and it happened to be him. I couldn't believe that she told me that. Anyways, she continues to have contact with my mom and she drops either role of them off with for almost every weekend for he to go do whatever she does..partying. frankly I don't care but like you I'm afraid of my children's well being because she has her own issues with addiction. Sadly I'm in a recovery centre for approximately 1 year and I'm 4 hours away from my kids the only way for them to visit is if my mother can bring them but my ex is now causing drama saying my mom is no longer going to be seeing my kids anymore. I just don't know what to do anymore as of losing everything I valued in life..job,car,house,drivers license. I wish she care for my kids as much I care for them, she even told me many times she was going to give them up but now shes saying things like my family is not going to see them anymore and neither am I. I wish I could have custody or even 50/50. I just don't know what to do anymore.
I have been separated for over 5 months after about 4 months of trying really hard to fix things, but being completely shit on. Left at the end of June. I see my kids about 1/100 of time I used to. I was a very attentive father, and now I can only see my kids here and there. I am not allowed to come over when she is there. She has to be at work or "out" for me to see my kids. They are all teenaged boys 13,14, and my 18 high school senior, but they are my babies anyway. Wife of 20 years has a mid-life crisis and our marriage didn't survive it. I miss my kids so much, and I can't believe my wife would do this to us, not just me and her, but the kids too. They need their dad, but I'm just not around enough anymore to do any real parenting. Miserable.
I have been separated for over 5 months after about 4 months of trying really hard to fix things, but being completely shit on. Left at the end of June. I see my kids about 1/100 of time I used to. I was a very attentive father, and now I can only see my kids here and there. I am not allowed to come over when she is there. She has to be at work or "out" for me to see my kids. They are all teenaged boys 13,14, and my 18 high school senior, but they are my babies anyway. Wife of 20 years has a mid-life crisis and our marriage didn't survive it. I miss my kids so much, and I can't believe my wife would do this to us, not just me and her, but the kids too. They need their dad, but I'm just not around enough anymore to do any real parenting. Miserable.
found out Sept '16 my wife was in an affair (1 year plus) and was easing me out of the marriage. I found this out as she decided to send a number of emails from her work to her home account which popped up on our home PC. This included a number of photos, videos and instant messaging transcripts. Needless to say a divorce is on. Bullet points are weekly hotel meets, weekends away, secret meeting with my youngest (3 years old) so 'he gets to know you as DAD', him and his kid turning up at events where we were as a family (Even had the cheek to chat to me at one), him going on a family holiday with my wife and kids (She's Dutch and the in laws looked after the kids while they 'went out'). The instant messages cover all and everything including parenting my kids (sickness, behavior, chastising etc), 'sexting' and 'video sexting' while my kids were in the bed/whiles I was downstairs/whilst I was in the room!!! You name it it was there. Within the same week, my wife got a non-molestation order out (Danger to her and the kids for many years.... Discharge from court as no facts or evidence existed). So there's the background..... Now we are still in the same house (Bang goes the danger part...) as she wont go without the kids because she's mum and I should leave apparently. In the messages that cover Feb to September of '16 there was a complete plan on how to remove me from the home\kids lives and make it look like she was still sweet and innocent including how to morally introduce him to everyone. Real nice people hey? Its killing me she's got the front to rub my nose in it and not do the decent thing and leave. October she signed divorce papers for adultery (Not without a fight). The trouble is she still wants me removed from the kids lives as much as possible, move him in and I quote 'He will become their dad'. Of course they still want me to pay. So my he'll has just begun.
I'm not sure what your looking for here. How come you got it that he only gets every other weekend and then give him 4 and 4. I can only conclude you want control. Try thinking in his shoes. Could you live with what your offering him?
2:30am laying in bed crying, cannot contemplate the future.. feels like there is no hope for a man who loves his child more than anything in this world! I will miss more than half of my child's life because she decided to cheat on me.. the world is not fair.
I am a mother. I just let my son go live with his father after years of resisting. Because my new husband turned out to be a loser and really let him down. His father isn't the best influence either but I just wanted him to be happy so badly. Now that I've let him go, I'm feeling this pain and I have to say I have never felt more compassion for you fathers out there who are not dead beats and who deserve equal time. I share time with my youngest. I've never had any issues. We didn't work out but he's an amazing father. 11 years of drama with my oldest and nothing but wasted time. I look back now and wish I had focused on every precious little moment I had. I used to make sure he spent as much time with his father as possible, my oldest. And now that his father has him full time, he doesn't do the same for me. I'm lucky if I get to see him once a month. We live three hours apart. My daughter, middle child, is doing so well here and she's very happy, so up and moving on her wouldn't be fair. The ache tears me apart every day. And because he's 11, texting mom and facetimeing mom isn't exactly exciting to him. I'm wrecked. I miss my baby boy. What I wouldn't give to go back in time and smother that little boy with hugs and kisses.
I am a dad missing my family of 10 years. I have a 8 year old son. Son stayed with my ex. I am in so much depression missing him and having a family. I still live in the house they left behind. A big empty house. Most of my kids stuff is still around. I still pass by the school he went in k to 2nd grade. It was a big a hassle back than taking care of him but I missed every moment of it now that I almost cry when I think about it. I do see my son every other week during the weekend but it just makes the weekdays more miserable. My ex has her hardship and its better for her that we separated but she had no idea how hard it is for me mentally. I guess that is why we can't really be living together at all. We are still keeping it from our son that we are separated so he can have a normal life for now. All he knows is daddy is staying in the old house because it's close to work. But he still deep inside asking why mommy have to move so far away. Our only excuse is we want him to have better education so we move to new location. I just woke up and his the first thing on my mind. I missed him. I am in so much depression now I am just late to work again just not wanting to get out of bed in the morning. Going home at night to an empty big house is the worst. I was able to handle it for the 1st year because I keep myself busy but now it's starting to hit me hard. I am fighting very hard to fight this sad depressing feeling of emptiness. I have a very successful business and have enough to go by. But nothing matters to me except my boy. My only way I motivate myself is I am doing what am doing now because of him. Also I think I need to move out to a smaller place. I think I also need to keep myself really busy during the weekdays. My other thinking is in another 6 7 years he'll be all grown up he won't want to be hanging with me no more......Anyway I think I can pick up self up today and move on for now.
Well...here I am 45 year old father of three (17, 12 & 10) who live with their mother on the other side of the world, with no chance of ever seeing them again.
I cry so much because of the loss and my heart has been smashed into pieces.
I'm depressed, anxious and have panic attacks.
I don't want to live anymore and this is becoming my everyday train of thought that is sucking every last ounce of life from me.
I've started a new job a week ago but it is so hard to concentrate that I fear it won't last too long. I was supposed to start some emotional counselling, which I was looking forward to. But I got this job working away from home during the week meaning I can't get to any of the appointments.
I'm a complete mess and wondering if I should quit the job and focus on the counselling to try and get myself better.
I'm almost out of hope and really need some advice.
I'm so lonely and don't know if I can cope for much longer.
Living parental alienation hell last 20 months. 2 daughters I miss dearly. I'm trusting God for healing, restoration and asking to understand His will in this. I've not seen since May 31, 2015, not spoken since August 24th 2015 and last got a card Dec. 2015. Pain is unreal, hard to stay positive and let go of pain and give it to God. Love you A&D
My 2 year old son is my reason for living. I'm living in Georgia now my parent's after ending up homeless on the streets of Kansas city Missouri for nearly a year... He's in KC with his mother. She's as worthless as I was a year ago.. fucking meth.. I'm sober, employed, going back to school. But I'm not on his birth certificate... I don't think I'll ever get to have my son again.. it makes me want to die... I'm still trying though, if I keep trying maybe I'll be able to be the father that my baby boy my little frebity frebits deserves... I see him nearly every day on video chat. He lived here with me for 7 months up until last Christmas. Then I had to give him back... He asks for me every day, so she video calls me whenever he asks... All I can do is cry after I talk to him... I cry several times a day.. I fear I'm just rambling now. Sorry about that. God how I miss my son. The void in my life is unbearable. I hope I can continue to convince myself that I must keep trying. It would be so much easier to just die...
Im a young father of 3 beautiful little girls, kk, Lyss, Addy. My wife and I are separated and have been for some months now. Its a day i will never forget. My wife told me that she and the kids where going to her moms like any other weekend. Only this time she never came home. I didnt have any idea i woulnt see my beautiful daughters any more. I still have not seen them i haven't even been able to talk to them on the phone. Everything reminds me of them. Their smiles their giggles EVERYTHING and it hurts so bad. I never thought a man could hurt so much. I cry all the time i feel a emptiness in my life. I feel like there isnt a reason or meaning to life since they've been gone. Ive sent messages and called and have told their mom all i want is to see my babies. I try to explain that if she wants a divorce if she isnt happy that doesnt make it ok to take my princesses and hold them from me like a bargaining chip to make me unhappy. My daughters are daddies girls. We would play all day read all day they love it when i do their nails and brush their hair or braid it. Some times i would let one of them play hooky from school and we would hang out all day just the 2 of us. Id take which ever ones turn it was to play hooky out for breakfast and lunch. Most the time kk would just want to eat at home and watch movies. Usually scary movies. Man i could go on and on. Its near 3:00 am and i cant sleep all i can do is wonder where they are. What theyre doing. What is their mom telling them why dad isnt there to tuck them in. Why dad isnt there to wake them up and send them off to school. Why is this happening to me. I understand ive made some bad decisions. I know im not perfect. But ive NEVER done anything to harm or hurt my daughters. I love them with all i can give plus some. I try to blame myself just to make it right in my mind that they have been taken from me but i cant. I cant blame myself. All i can be blamed for is loving and caring about the 3 most beautiful girls ever. I wish i could tell them how much papa loves them. How much i miss them. I dont know what to do with myself. Im young and have so much to learn but what is their to learn from something like this. Ive read and reread this. Ive thought about deleting it. Ive thought about copying it and sending it to their mom. Idk what im going to do.
Looks like im posting it.
Im a young father of 3 beautiful little girls, kk, Lyss, Addy. My wife and I are separated and have been for some months now. Its a day i will never forget. My wife told me that she and the kids where going to her moms like any other weekend. Only this time she never came home. I didnt have any idea i woulnt see my beautiful daughters any more. I still have not seen them i haven't even been able to talk to them on the phone. Everything reminds me of them. Their smiles their giggles EVERYTHING and it hurts so bad. I never thought a man could hurt so much. I cry all the time i feel a emptiness in my life. I feel like there isnt a reason or meaning to life since they've been gone. Ive sent messages and called and have told their mom all i want is to see my babies. I try to explain that if she wants a divorce if she isnt happy that doesnt make it ok to take my princesses and hold them from me like a bargaining chip to make me unhappy. My daughters are daddies girls. We would play all day read all day they love it when i do their nails and brush their hair or braid it. Some times i would let one of them play hooky from school and we would hang out all day just the 2 of us. Id take which ever ones turn it was to play hooky out for breakfast and lunch. Most the time kk would just want to eat at home and watch movies. Usually scary movies. Man i could go on and on. Its near 3:00 am and i cant sleep all i can do is wonder where they are. What theyre doing. What is their mom telling them why dad isnt there to tuck them in. Why dad isnt there to wake them up and send them off to school. Why is this happening to me. I understand ive made some bad decisions. I know im not perfect. But ive NEVER done anything to harm or hurt my daughters. I love them with all i can give plus some. I try to blame myself just to make it right in my mind that they have been taken from me but i cant. I cant blame myself. All i can be blamed for is loving and caring about the 3 most beautiful girls ever. I wish i could tell them how much papa loves them. How much i miss them. I dont know what to do with myself. Im young and have so much to learn but what is their to learn from something like this. Ive read and reread this. Ive thought about deleting it. Ive thought about copying it and sending it to their mom. Idk what im going to do.
Looks like im posting it.
Im a father of one beautiful little boy. Hes two years old and autistic. I havent seen him since just before Christmas due to his mother withholding him. She hasnt responded to mediation and ill be going to see lawyers tomorrow to hopefully get the ball rolling. The feeling of pure devastation i always have is unbearable. Im struggling to cope and all i seem to do at night is cry. Coming from a man that hadnt cried in years. I think of my little boy Bastian every day and hope he thinks of me and remembers me. The last time i saw him all i could do was hold him give him a kiss and tell him i loved him and goodbye while his mother abused me. As soon as i put him down he screamed and cried and as i left her house it broke my heart. Its the only moment that i can seem to think of and its killing me inside
I am a father of a 5 year old son whom lives in Germany. I was told by my son last year when he was visiting me in the USA (my son is 1/2 American and1/2 German and I took my ex wife to court only for her to win my son back to Germany due to no proof of physical evidence. I had a parental contract and the German lawyer later told me that it is not enforceable due to the fact that it was never notarized. My ex wife refuses to bring my son to the USA for visits or to allow my son to be picked up by me or my family.
It's truly horrible to read all the sad stories in the comments here. I just do not understand how people can hurt each other so much. I understand when there's real abuse divorce sometimes has to happen, but otherwise? How can someone rip their family apart like that, when two people loved each other enough once to get married they can love each other that much again, maybe not in the same giddy way they did when they were younger but in a deeper richer way that is worth even more.
It breaks my heart to think of how much you're all hurting. I imagine my husband and my little 9 month old and I shudder to think of them going through that. And some of your kids are 8,9 in their teens and older... it's terrifying that people can throw away a life they've built in common so long.
I have been reading this for over an hour and haven't been able to stop crying. My ex is keeping my kids from me the last time I seen them was Nov 1 2016. I have missed Christmas, their birthdays and just the time with them, I would give anything just to hug them and tell them I love them. I am thankful that I found this page.
Too many mothers feel like they and children are a package deal. They feel like if their husband left them, that means he left the children as well. But the mother and the child are NOT the same person, no matter how much they might feel it. Most fathers NEVER let go of their children emotionally. Even when the pain of missing their children hollows them out emotionally, and when the grief of having that relationship damaged or severed becomes an unbearable weight carried day after day, they still don’t let go. I haven’t. I’ve tried, but I can’t. My sons are still my sons, and they need me, as much as I need them. And I will always cling to the hope that we’ll be together again one day.
https://walter-singleton.com/2017/02/04/to-envy-those-who-grieve/
Well I feel for all these dads, I also feel bad about mentioning my pain. I get my kids every two weeks, for two weeks. So in comparison I guess I'm blessed. But yet I fall apart the Sunday they leave my house and pretty much cry all night. I'm not supposed to cry, I'm dad!
I'm not a dad that had hobbies. My hobby was my kids! My wife suffered from depression after my daughters birth ( first kid) and my daughter was sick and needed a lot of attention the first nine months of her life. Her dad was GLAD to give this attention.
Second child ( my son) my wife suffered the same depression. Once again dad was happy to be the main care giver. Me and my kids are close.
After 24 years my wife divorces me and I understand. Wasn't ugly and we get along better now than we have in a long time. But I was the caregiver. I was there when my kids were hurt, scared, heart broken, confused or just needed someone to make a decision for them. I can count on two hands the days I've missed seeing my kids in 19 years. Now every two weeks I talk to them on the phone everyday. Just not the same. I feel for the fathers that have less time with their kids than I do, but I MISS MY KIDS!!!!
Hi my name is Pete, I was married for 4 years and I am going through a divorce , my wife is lying trying to put a protective order on me to not see the kids, I'm 28 years old and I have a 3 year old son Jackson and a 1 year old son Connor they mean so much to me and she moved out with the kids and I am not allowed to contact them or see them, there is no order but if I try to go there she will call the police and lie to get me arrested, I don't mind not being with her anymore but I love my son's with all of my heart and the pain is unreal of not knowing if everything is alright I have an attorney and I hoping that I get a court order to see them soon I love my boys so much, not fair that mom's can take children from father's especially someone who works and wants to be included with them. This evening I wrote my son's a letter explaining what I am going through and how I feel and I am hoping that when they are older they can look back at it and understand that I am doing what I can to get them back.
Just like all of the rest of the sad parents on this blog, I found it by typing something dreadfully sad into google. I've been separated from my ex for nearly 3 years and it has been an absolute hell. We have 2 kids together, and from the day we split up she's used them to hurt me.
I've gone through phases of pain and confusion, loss and loneliness, and found myself feeling flat-out hopeless more times than I can count. I've done everything I can, racked up over $35,000 in attorney's bills, spent so many nights with my forehead all wrinked up, wondering when the next time I will see my son and daughter again, tried numbing it with weed and alcohol, tried complete sobriety, see a psychiatrist, see a therapist, use art as an outlet, talk to my family... and the fact of the matter is that this just IS NOT EASY.
When you take a man's children away from him and keep them hostage, that is the spiritual equivalent of knifing one in the heart and giving it a sharp twist every couple of days. I don't even know who I am anymore. They say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" but I don't know if I'm stronger at all - just more used to being hurt - more used to the seemingly increased distance I feel on a daily basis.
My kids are growing up without me in their lives. I see them in person a few times a year and have strained skype calls with them a couple of times a week, but that's it, and I had to fight like hell to get just this little scrap of a relationship.
I don't know what I ever did to deserve being tormented in this way. I'm a gentle person who loves his children more than anything. I provided for their mother the entire time I've known her - 15 years now. To deny me a relationship with my own children is just the most vile, horrible thing anyone could possibly do to me. Taking them over 1,000 miles away and hiding with them like a coward, only surfacing to try sickeningly devilish legal tactics in a new jursidiction - To poison my tender children against me and fill their young brains with lies...it's just repulsive and I don't know when it will ever end.
For anyone out there reading this - if you're on this site then I know your pain 100% and hope that you can endure through it until brighter days come. I think the only thing that holds me together is the fact that my kids exist on this earth and that I KNOW they love me - and your kids love you too. Wrongs can be righted, sometimes it just takes what seems like an eternity for that to happen.
Sites like this shouldn't exist - our laws are old and antiquated and good fathers are killing themselves every day. I'm thankful for this site, though, for it's helped me for a day - one more day towards fixing this terrible situation. I hope that all of the other fathers that find this site are able to feel at least a slight sense of relief knowing that they aren't alone in their grief.
I have read a lot of these stories... it has made me realize I'm not alone. I'm 27 years old with a beautiful 5 year old daughter we live in New York "Adirondacks"... I separated with her mother a week before my daughter's 1st birthday... IT HURT TERRIBLY!!!. At first it took time to get used to the conditions. I took my daughter every Friday after work to Sunday night... now my daughter is 5, turning 6 in September and it seems Sunday comes it's in the back of my mind that she is leaving.... it hurts like hell. I try my best to just keep busy with her I take a lot of pictures and it still hurts. Then when I drop her off or she gets in her mother's truck she tears up, I do my best not to in front of her because I don't want her to hurt more... but she never cries leaving her mom, only me... idk if I can continue this without meds. It's getting a lot harder to do this every weekend. I feel your pain dads... it's not easy one bit. But just be there for them. They will see it as they get older, I hope..
I'm here. 50 yrs old. Divorced my wife of 18 yrs in 2014. Two amazing boys, now 11 and 12. They're my life. I have them 50% of the time, so I have to consider myself lucky. They've been with their mom on vacation since the 5th (8 days) And I get to see them tomorrow, but I woke up at 4:15 this morning and ended up crying my eyes out for them by 5:15. It hurts.....a pain that you can't describe, except that there's a hole in my heart when they're not here. I'm remarried now, but my wife can't fill that hole. No one can. It's deep, and I can only partially fill it for short periods of time with the memories that we have shared. I'm trying to make the time I do have with them special each time....not by spoiling them....but just being with them. I needed this blog this morning. I do fess I haven't read them all, but just typing now is theraputic....so that you.
I actually needed to see this, to see that I am not the only guy out there going through this. I am not divorced but know it's inevitable. My boys (8-6) are my everything. I have no family besides them, I have no job since we relocated for my wife's job, my whole world is collapsing around me. If I don't have my boys around I have nothing... I am nothing
Another dad missing his boys. I have 3 boys - 6, 4, and 2 yrs old. My wife surprised me right after the birth of my third son by having the sheriff remove me from our home with separation papers loaded with unproven allegations. I couldn't believe this was even legal! No proof needed just mere allegations and that was that! I was a danger to my kids, a drunk, a werewolf, an axe murderer, because she said so. After losing my home I am now fighting for my boys but have discovered they are HER kids more than mine :) I miss my boys so much and for 2 years have fought back the tears during the day and let them loose at night. I am so disgusted and shocked at what was allowed to be done to me - it was certainly a crime; it was legal kidnapping! Funny enough, we named our third son Simon after St. Simon of Trent (we're Catholic) who it turns out is the patron saint of kidnapped children! Hopefully he is watching over my son Simon since I can't. My prayers go out to all you other dad's. What will history say about the shameful times in which we live?
I stumbled across this post, and I am a MOM who lost primary custody and I completely empathize with you all. Children need 2 parents in their lives. My ex took a job making a lot more $ and moved to a more fun locale and behind my back convinced my teen and pre-teen children that they wanted to move with him and promised this new wonderful life in a place 1,500 miles away from me, their mom! We had 50/50 shared custody for 5 years since our divorce. I was at EVERY activity. I did everything for my kids and I am a good mom. We went to court and because of their ages they were allowed to move, per the Judge. I am devastated. They have been gone 1 month now and I am calling, texting, video chatting every day. I am sending care packages like a fool. I miss them soooo much! The kids did not deserve to be put in the middle of a custody battle or be put in the position to have to choose between their parents. Anyone who puts their child in that position is selfish and not a good parent imo. All this to say, I feel your pain!!! It can happen to Moms too! I never thought this would happen and I am still in shock that my babies live 1,500 miles away from me...so their dad can make more $. I am trying to focus on being the best mom that I can be in this situation, but my heart hurts...my house is too quiet and their rooms are too empty. Even the pics on my desk at work make me sad. I want to be able to reach out and hug them, but I can't.
I miss my sons when they leave after each visit i cry frequently my heart is so sad im sad and loney most of the time
Same circumstances here dad's. I will be filing for the divorce and fighting for custody however. My wife does not deserve a husband of my caliber.
Thank you for this blog, I miss my kids more than anything.
I truly understand I was 17 when I became a father I'm now 32 and my daughter's turning 15 she was 6 months old when she last lived with me but we talk from time to time cuz her mother's mom won't allow me to see her I also have 3 other children now turning 12,13and 14 and their mom won't allow them to see me either or my family I think about them everyday and I've lived in depression most of my life from it as I get older it gets harder and I know I can't replace the time lost and the moments I missed, I never wanted it like this, my dad wasn't there either sinse I was 5 due to my mother, but it's hard waking up cuz all I think about is my kids, some mornings I wish I hadn't cuz reality slaps me in the face my daughter told me today she forgives me for not being there, it meant alot but doesn't take the pain away, if it had been my choice all my kids would be with me, I know it's never to late to make things right but it doesn't replace what I missed, to bad life doesn't have a rewind button, but being 32 instead of 17 a kid myself in older and more mature, may not know everything but I know I love and miss my babies more than anything, there's no purpose in life without them my kids r my purpose, and are the only reasons I don't give up hope on living cuz some day they will grow up and come looking for their dad, or i go looking for them, knowing their alive out there gives me hope, I talk with my oldest from time to time and she wants yo get to know me which makes me happy but sad cuz she shouldn't have to get to know me, she tells her mother "that's my dad, I'll talk to him if I want " to her mother's family which makes me smile knowing she just like her dad, u dad's out there I know how you feel all I can say is don't give up hope I'm trying so hard not to but it's hard being depressed and mad all the time
That's it in a capsule. From the weakest elements of society, women have become the dictators of family law.
Hello I am recently divorced at first I was able to enjoy my time without my kids. I did a lot running and working out. I was in the best shape of my life. I was fortunate to meet an amazing girl and have been with her now 4 months. About 2 weeks ago I started really missing my kids even though we have 50/50 custody and I never go more than 4 days without seeing them. I can only think the reason for my sudden issues is because I have had my free time and now just wish everything was normal once again. Another issue is about a month ago I had to put my dog to sleep so when I am home and no one is there is can be very quiet. I have talked to a lot of people about my issues since there are days I just want to lay in bed all day and I know the best thing for me is to stay active it can just be hard sometimes to get past the emptiness.
Hi. It’s been 8 years now since if seen my children. I don’t know where they live or how they r doing in life. The great Canadian family laws states I should be seeing my two girls once a week (Wednesday) and every other weekend. It was ordered that the children are to be exchanged in the middle of a parking lot, regardless of the weather. I go to the parking lot, I sit and wait for 3 hours then head back to my apartment. She does not bring them. I can go to court. It will cost me about 5,000 dollars. For that the judge will do nothing. I stopped paying my monthly child fee. I was told if I didn’t pay I would be put in jail.
Everyday I think about them. Everyday I think about stepping off. I’ve talked to people. It’s always the same thing. I should find a way to get over it. Find someone new and move on. As if I have any interest in or will ever trust another woman again. On the bright side I believe that it’s all going to end this year.
... and me .... it helps to read it's not only happening to me...
I'm going through the same thing at the moment my fiance left me while I was at work I haven't seen my daughter since it's been two months this is harder than most think I love them both she is two years old. And I was a everyday dad with her this pain has caused so much confusion in my life I cant deal with this anymore and think of suicide every second of the day. I have already made plans to end my life and I'm scared . Of what's to come seeing my family with someone else is to much to bear I cry daily I'm crying now. I'm lost I've started to travel to my final destination spot to end it and while I want to reach out I just cant I dont want to end up in another mental institution for a month just to go home and feel the same . I didn't get the chance to see my daughter on fathers day this past two months have felt like years I hopeless and see no other way out
It's almost 3 AM and I lay awake with tears streaming down my face. The feeling of despair is almost overwhelming. I have only seen my kids for 6 hours in the past four weeks and I don't know when I will get to see them next. My heart is broken.
Miss my 2 children so much. As crazy as it sounds I always feel like a terrible father not having my kids more even knowing there is nothing i can do about it. Still have them 50/50 but the moment they leave i am completely dead inside.
I started dating my girlfriend she has 2 daughters 5 and 2 weeks old, we were together for 5 years the youngest knows only me as her father the 10 year old considers me her dad, I sit in their rooms for hours crying, I am not the biological father, but the love and bond I feel for them, she just decided to leave after 5 years, get the typical stuff, not in love, dont want to try, it's all excuses, all of her families dads have abandoned them, I figured she would want to end the cycle, I work two jobs provide a loving home, the girls want to live with me, they have break downs when they are with me, wanting to be with me, begging me not to leave, asking me to take them, breaks my heart that their mother and father dont care, I have no rights so I feel as tho I am waiting for them to be taken from my life, the love of a child is so pure, they dont care about how much money you have, where you work, it's just pure love, and it's been ripped out of my life, I miss and think about them every min of the day,I dont think most people understand the bond between a loving father and their kids, it puts me in a deep depression and the only happiness I feel is around my girls
I don’t know if this is an active blog since the last entry was 2015 but I’m finding solace in all the similar stories and it isn’t just me who desperately misses their children.
My 3 girls are the world to me. I would wake up with them, help them get breakfast, pack their lunches, take them to early morning practice for their instruments, prepare their dinner, say prayers with them, help them with their homework, take them to the park after school or on the weekends, go to their karate practice or soccer games. Anything to spend time with my wonderful 3 girls. Their mother and I had problems for years and it was both of our faults. She wanted to exclude my family and friends from our girls and my life and that’s when I agreed to my wifes demands of a separation. We drew up a separation agreement and word of warning- have a seasoned lawyer look over whatever document you have before signing, I used my brother who is mostly a criminal attorney and I’ll get to the disaster at the end. In the agreement I’m supposed to see them every day to do what I was doing before and so they could all have a good end to their school year. Less then a month after separating and living in the same house she finds out I have a girlfriend and all hell breaks loose. She goes apeshit on me, hits me, threatens me with scissors, breaks all the wedding pictures right before my girls go to school. She files a police report and gets a PFA not only for her but also for my kids! I left for work thinking we had an agreement, signed by her, me and her lawyer, that would be followed WRONG! Next day is my middle child’s 11th birthday I was set to go and my wife say she’s changed the locks and I’ll be arrested if I show up. There’s all sorts of craziness in between but if I were to give any advice hammer all this shit out with a divorce attorney BEFORE agreeing to separate. I’m on my 3rd lawyer because my 1st one was my brother (yeah I know dumb mistake) and my 2nd waited 3 weeks to even review the stuff I sent her so I got a good one I think now. Today was the support hearing and after 3+ months of not seeing my girls except for one therapeutic session last week I have missed them dearly. My separation agreement figures for my support was about 1/4 of what I was paying so I have to have some major life adjustments. What kills me is I am still not allowed to see my girls because of the PFA. I have a girlfriend and that’s a major sticking point for everyone involved. She is great and a big support but she’s also a handful and not anything I’ve dealt with before. My business went through some major changes too with people who have been with me for close to a decade leaving and me playing catch up with hiring new employees to span the gap. Due to government changes a large part of my business might be in jeopardy so I’m struggling to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I was told by my lawyer I signed a deal with the devil with the separation agreement, that’s the way it feels cause this is pretty close to how I’d describe hell, no girls to hug, help, play with, a relationship that strains mine with my girls, a business that’s out of control, money that’s quickly drying for a number of reason and me left with little or no sense of what comes next. Lord give me strength and the peace of knowing my custody hearing is coming up at the end of the month so praying that will give me shared custody.
Hi my wife left 7 days ago and being together for 16years with my kids I don't really know the reason ,we we're having arguments lots, she won't talk to me sheshes only texted saying she put money in my acct for me but I don't want any of that I just want to see my kids I can't function I can't do anything I haven't eaten I just can't cope.
Hi name Monte and I'm 47 years old and I haven't seen my daughter in 15 years and I just wanted to say to ya never give up.its not over..my ex accused me of everything that you can think of ..she couldn't just divorce me she tired to kill me and she almost did..keeping my daughter from me..but guys God in control and I know if u give it to him and trust him it will happen it hasn't been easy for me some days are better than others but I know that will get better..I don't know if it helps anyone but if I can go on without my daughter for 15 years and not go insane u can too...I'm gonna pray for every father out there ..u never know what tomorrow brings
Miss my two angels, I have them 3 days a week. but I feel dead the other 4 days. I can't work, I can't think, I can't enjoy anything. When they are with me I sleep like a baby, the other 4 days I struggle to sleep.
After 10 years she decided to cheat. And now me and the kids have to pay the price.
I had some videos from my older son has just start walking, and I just can't watch that anymore, it really gets me sad, makes me think of all those moments I am missing each week. Reading other post seems the agony won't stop any time soon.
I wish there are more support for dads, unfortunately, we cry in silence and get treated like we are the assailant even when the opposite is true.
This also hurt me financially, and I slipped into depression. She filed for child support and I got charged with rates based on last years tax income where I was working two jobs so double income. And when I corrected my income with them they did not pay me back for the extra money they took from me.
I really wish GOD would hear my prayers. I just want this pain to stop.
My story is slightly different. I have 2 daughters (8 and 9), and I've been raising them by myself for a few years now. Their mom suddenly popped up living in another state and tried to make amends. I've always wanted my daughters to have a relationship with their mother so I was open to the idea of them seeing her. I never tried to keep her away, or talk bad about her to our kids. Their mother BEGGED me to let them come spend a couple weeks with her this summer and I agreed, partly because I want them to develop a better relationship with their mom, and also because I thought I needed a break. BOY was I WRONG. I took them to their mom and made it home. THAT'S WHEN IT REALLY HIT ME. I called their names when I walked in the door (which is something I do EVERY day) and of course I got no response. I walked upstairs to their room and once I saw the empty beds it all started to sink in and I couldn't keep the tears from flowing. I know that they're coming home in a month or so, but MAN I never understood just how IMPORTANT their presence is in my life. I feel useless, lonely, and unfulfilled. I'd basically given up any semblance of a social life in order to focus on my kids because they'd been through a lot in their younger days, so I don't have many friends. Too often in our society Men are written off as "optional" When it comes to child rearing, so most people have no idea How deep a Fathers love can go, or how Crucial the Element of being a parent is to his everyday life. I'm nobody without my kids, so I know how a lot of you feel. Thanks for creating this blog. It's a step in the right direction for all of us real fathers out here, who genuinely love and miss their kids...
I need help I'm 6 months out of my family's home. Recently betrayed and divorced. 13 yrs 3 children�� struggling really bad without my children..mentally not doing well.. any suggestions
Hector, I'm listening man. How can I help? Do you go to church anywhere? Any good guys you can talk to?
I'm gutted a relieved I'm not the only one that feels this way.
My situation is my ex and I were together for 10 years. My first and only relationship. The last year opened my eyes to the fact I was just trying to force something that wasn't making me happy. I battle with that thought most days when I miss her because I do love her but know that getting back together would end the same way.
I see my daughter quite regularly during the week it will be from 6pm when I get to hers from work until approx 7:30pm that's usually Tuesday and Wednesday and a night stay Friday or Saturday night. It's when I'm the most happiest just the gaps in between weighs on my head like a bin lorry, constantly think about her, what she's doing, does she think of me. And the big one is am I being a good father because I doubt it all the time.
As she gets older will she wonder about the times I wasn't there. If she gets married one day would I be invited. If she has kids would she let me have them over night.
There is a lot more but I'll leave it for the time being. Knackered going to get a hours
When all you love is taken how do you go forward? I gave 12 years thick and thin. I can't be fixed from the pain that reaches to the depths of my inerbeing.
This is the case with me also. 10 years with a manipulative controlling ice queen. I supported her and our 3 children by working 2 jobs so she could focus on the children (all 3 were under 5). Only to have her get an attitude because I wouldn't do what she wanted me to to, make up lies to turn those close to us against me, steal many thousands of dollars from my savings (we weren't married legally). And proceed to get a restraining order against me. After all that there's no way I can afford to even fight for custody. I haven't seen the children in 5 months. not for 1 second. She just gave birth to our 4th child. No one would tell me when it was born or even the sex! I hurt SO BAD every moment of every day. I talk to the children and tell them I love them so much and miss them even though no one hears me and I'm talking into the air. Some days I we question my sanity whether I can even keep going. I think about suicide dozens of times a day every day. Even though I was super dad the best I could be and my children were / are EVERYTHING to me I'm so over loaded with self hatred when I have a day off all I can do is drink and sleep. I miss them SO BAD. I don't miss her at all I miss THEM. So much to say. I don't know how much longer I can do this.
Hey, I have been dealing with this hell for 6 years. I have also posted here before. I found something that has helped me so much more than I could have imagined. I turned to the church. Not the Protestant or Catholic Churches. I found comfort and solace in the Orthodox Christian Church. They truly will not judge you for what you have been through, and they have solid advice. I had abandoned faith for a long time, but now that I have found Orthodox Christianity, it’s like everything is just falling into place for me. I will pray for you all, and I hope that all of you will find the same peace I have.
I have also went through pure hell since july1st2011 till now and my children are grown and haven't seen nor heard from my younger child in 6years or more and I don't think their mother nor grandparents and family cares that I bout died that night and slowly dying since and beat completely to nothing. I love everyone still but love will kill a person like myself to love and need it back. I'm still hoping it's tuff though and damn tuff love.
Please keep this site going. I’ve come so close to suicide so many times I can’t count them. The pain never ends and never will end, but if I can hang on then you, dear reader, will too. Clearly suicide and violence is not the answer. We need a federal law or court action to set the “custody” to always presumed 50/50. But family court is the cash cow of the legal industry so it’s going to take something special to turn the tide.
What can I say, I feel I have failed my 3 daughters. I miss them so much. When mybex and I split up she had the nerve to tell my daughters it was too much of an inconvenience to let them stay and take them to school even though she moved only 1 mile up the road. Then she got her own place and was running guys on left and right. So I pick my kids up and pay the babysitter who lives on the same road as the ex and she informs me my 3 year old geta up on the weekends and roams the neighborhood till she notices ans takes her in. Houra later when the ex notices she is missing she comes looking for her. Multiple timea this happens. So during the divorce everytime I go to court I get pulled over because someone calls me in saying this or that. Then I start getting set up, someone puts drugs in my car and I get pulled over. All her to try to make me look unfit. This has been going on for 2 years. It caused me to lose the relationship I lucked into after my ex with the absolute woman of my dreams, I mean it was love at first site. The stress took its toll along with other things that had happened. Every day is a struggle just to go on because my 3 daughters were my life. I coached all their sports, took them every where, we were inseparable ans they knew o loves them with every fiber of my body. I had it all town away and it has killed me feom the inside. Its impossible to explain to people what this does to you, OT slowly kills you ans people dont realize just how truly painful it can be.
Hi, i'm a 37 year old divorced dad of two beautiful little boys ages 5 and 7. Their mother left me after a horrible hunting accident in which i fell 26 feet out of a deer stand that broke. She stayed for 3 years afterwards but I was literally in pain 24 hours a day and wasn't able to work. But I still had an income albeit only 25k a year but it was still something. She is a Pediatric Dentist and so money was never really an issue. I also was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder. So on our 9th anniversary she told me that she is not in love with me anymore and that I need to leave the house. So i did thinking that we could discuss it more later.... emotions were high and i needed to think. I never returned home. She wouldn't let me.
I spent 2 years in a state of such depression that I was not able to get out of bed hardly. The nightmares i had of her leaving me over and over again were more than I could bare. So i started abusing the pain medication i was taking to numb the pain of her leaving me. Big mistake. It took me years to get over the addiction to pain meds but i am proud to say i have been sober for two years....
I still have nightmares about her leaving me.... and there is one in particular where she is loading up our kids in the car and i'm just standing there, i'm yelling at her "I am ok now!! I"m better now! please don't leave me!" I literally wake up in tears shaking because that situation really happened.
My kids are literally little geniuses. My oldest took a national reading comprehension test and placed in the upper 90th percentile. I am doing well myself as I have recently moved to Colorado and have a wonderful albeit busy job making pretty good money. I have been clean for 2 years and have totally turned my life around.
But the pain is still there. I listed to our song this morning on my way to work and I cried like a baby... anyways sorry if this is rambling but I just needed to post SOMETHING! I have no one to talk to !
I miss my kids so much. I see them every second weekend. The Sunday they go I re- live the loss over again. I feel so empty when they are not here. I want to be with them always, it’s hard to cope seeing their toys, clothes, shoes etc around. I just think of them wondering what they are doing, wondering if they know just how much I love them. It’s been 10 years, 10 years of brokenness. Sending love to you dads out there. You’re not alone even though you feel it.
I miss my kids so much. I see them every second weekend. The Sunday they go I re- live the loss over again. I feel so empty when they are not here. I want to be with them always, it’s hard to cope seeing their toys, clothes, shoes etc around. I just think of them wondering what they are doing, wondering if they know just how much I love them. It’s been 10 years, 10 years of brokenness. Sending love to you dads out there. You’re not alone even though you feel it.
Thank you, readin this blog has made some calmness over come my pain tonight. Thank yall again
I’m so sorry you have to go through this pain , it’s so unfair
I have 50-50. Seeing my daughter only half of her life and missing out on that is what I regret most. The years of heartache whenever I would drop her off and counting down the days when I would see her again. The upside was that the time I spent with her was quality time and the ex had no part of that.
I have 50-50. Seeing my daughter only half of her life and missing out on that is what I regret most. The years of heartache whenever I would drop her off and counting down the days when I would see her again. The upside was that the time I spent with her was quality time and the ex had no part of that.
I miss my kids Soo much I haven't been able to see them for a month I'm so lost and hurt I can't barley make it out of bed for work o have been trying to just work and stay there after everyone is done but I'm starting to lose the ability to think of anything else but my beautiful amazing little ones I didn't know it was possible to hurt this deeply I need some support somewhere.... I've never asked before but damnit I'm so broken right now and it's the worst thing I have ever felt
Unknown, I'm very very sorry to hear that. Please please stay strong as is what your kids need the most. Know that there are many like you and you are NOT alone. While there is nothing I can do to help your situation, the only thing I can do is sympatise and hope that you can see your "amazing little ones" as soon as possible. Hang in there. We all hope for the best for your situation.
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