Thursday, June 18, 2009

Stay Put!!

This is a difficult post today. Mostly it's difficult because I can't give any details.
In every divorced dads life, there will come times when the temptation is to just walk away. It's not because we don't love our children, it's because the burdens we bear in silence can sometimes gang up on us and make it seem like just getting away from it would be better than staying. We have all the worries that intact dads do but we also have the added burdens of time restrictions, child support, visitation conflicts, and the bottomless feeling of being a dad but not having your kids with you all the time. Sometimes those things become too much and if that happens frequently enough men can be tempted to quit. Some men do and it does damage that can't be undone.
Today I was reminded of the need for staying put. it has not been an easy path for me these past 9 years. many times I thought how much happier I'd be at home in Philly with my family and friends and familiar surroundings. but today some events happened that made me glad I was here when my daughter needed me. She is okay, but her situation isn't. I am still here to lend stability and comfort and the feeling that her daddy will make it okay. I missed that growing up and I will not let her feel that same fear. I miss it now too. If there was ever a time in the 11 years I have been a dad, that I needed my father's wisdom and advice it is today. Maybe for the first time in my life I am mad at him for not being there today when I need him.
Stay Put men of God...stay put. Set your face like flint, as the bible says, and don't be moved.
Blessing to you all

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Every once in a While

(duplicated from my other's important)

Hey's been a while.
I have been busy building chicken coops, cleaning pools, cutting grass. Pretty much anything to earn a dollar. I went home last week for some meetings and to go to the Italian Festival with my daughter. While we were there...God showed up in a simple yet profound way...let me explain.
Saturday afternoon, Morgan and I went to get dinner for ourselves and have a few minutes together. A week of hanging with her cousins didn't allow for much Daddy time and I was jealous.
We were pulling out of the shopping center...Capriotti's hoagie in hand...and we saw a homeless man holding up a sign and asking for help. You know the drill. Given where I've been, I can't drive past when I have the ability to help, even if it's a dollar and a kind word. The light changed before I could get my wallet out and for a second I thought about blowing it off and heading back to Tom's house. But God wouldn't let me and I instantly found out why. I told Morgan; "I need to go back and help that man" and I asked her if she minded and she said no. I was digging out my wallet and didn't notice her reaching into her pocket. she tapped me on the arm and handed me a small wad of cash. She had gotten $50 for her birthday and she had $42 left and she handed me all of it. I asked her what she was doing and she said she wanted to help the man. She hadn't even counted it...all that occurred to her was to give him everything she had. I was moved to tears right there in front of her. I couldn't even find words at first. I finally told her that I loved the way she was so unselfish about someone elses troubles and how God would bless her for her willingness to give everything she had. I compromised with her and let her add the $2 to the $10 I was going to give him. It was all I could do to speak. We drove back to the shopping center and pulled into the line and I signalled him to come over to our car. I handed him the $12 and told him I'd been where he is and I asked him his name and said it out loud back to him. (read my new book to find out why I did matters) and he smiled and I told him God loves him deeply and this money was form Him, not me. He smiled and thanked us and we drove off.
And i have never been so proud as I was that afternoon. I have always been proud of my daughter but that day...she blew me away with her love and her Christ likeness.
I am a blessed man to be her dad. I'm glad God gave me the strength to hang in there, and not just bail out on her when things were tough. I hope God says the same about my faithfulness. There is no telling what God is going to do to the $40 she still has...