Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Giving God What We Seek from Him

Hey men…sorry it’s been so long. Lot’s going on right now. I hope all you guys are well and taking great care of your quiver of arrows.
I was sitting in church this past Sunday and thinking about my relationship with God. Having only met my father once, and having no relationship with him whatsoever, my relationship with God suffered mightily. We all tend to project onto God, the images we carry of our fathers. If our dads were approachable and loving, we see God as someone to take our troubles to and a safe haven. If our fathers were difficult and distant, we typically aren’t men of prayer because we never saw a pattern of a father who answers our requests.
This Sunday I was considering that, and considering also, how God has removed that thought pattern from me. It took a lot of time…many years in fact…and it took a lot of breaking. When it all boils down to soup and nuts, the wall started to crumble when I started giving to God, that which I desired to receive from him. I needed His love and blessing. I needed to feel His presence. I needed to hear Him tell me He loves me. I needed to be able to see Him as my Father. So one day I began…haltingly, and very much against my will…to offer those things back to Him. I reasoned it like this; the fastest way for my daughter to hear me tell her I love her is to say it to me. I tell her several times each day, but if she ever needs it “right now” she never has to beg, or plead, or perform. She just walks into the room and says “I love you daddy” and the response will always be “I love you too sweetheart” followed by a hug. It never fails. Hearing her tell me that she loves me sends me a signal that she needs to hear it to, and I reciprocate. She sends me a child sized portion and I return an adult sized.
The same works for our relationship with God. The changes came for me, when I forced my hands up in praise, when I made myself say…through clenched teeth at first… “I love you” and when I began to praise Him. I needed a Father…I prayed to become His child. I realized that I had never once in my life felt like a son. (At least not until I meat Bob and Pop.) So I asked Him to show me how to be His son. I started calling Him “father” and it was foreign at first. But He broke through. He took my stumbling step of faith and blessed it and used the open door to heal my heart. My relationship with Him is a thousand times better. I am blessed.
Men…learn a valuable lesson from your children. When they need your love, they give you theirs. Practice this with your Heavenly Father and watch what happens.

Friday, May 15, 2009

The High Road

I've been learning the valuable lesson of not letting bitterness get a grip on me. I sure could have, because Lord knows my ex certainly put me through the ringer once she met her current husband. All the worst stuff you hear guys going through. Constant battles for more child support, personal attacks, him not being able to handle the fact that his wife was married before and has a child with someone else and that man will always be a small part of her life.
But I took the high road for the most part and lately it's been paying off. I'm glad I never sunk to the depths that they did. I'm glad I didn't say all the terrible things I could have said, and put my daughter in an untenable position.
My ex has needed a friend lately and oddly enough she has turned to me. We aren't going for margaritas and fondue at Applebees, but we are talking freely about Morgan and that is a good start. Morgan needs us to be friends. Guys...take the high road of civility and Christ-likeness. You won't be sorry.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Happy Birthday Morgan...

Today is my daughters 11th birthday.
11 years ago today, at exactly 10PM, I was blessed beyond measure. I was given a gift that night, that I could not possibly comprehend at that moment. I loved her instantly...before she was born even...and that love grows stronger each day. If I have's hers. If she needs it...I will find a way. If She dreams it...I will launch that dream or die trying. That's what dads do. My little arrow is another year closer to flight. I am another year closer to launching her through tears and a mildly broken heart. I am fascinated by her immense intellect and her love for God. She makes me smile from 15 miles away. My life revolves around the next time we'll see each other. She is getting to the point where I have to tell her "I love you", quieter now when I am dropping her off at school. Hugs aren't as freely given in public. But that's the way of things, and I find it amusing.
My daughter is eleven today and I have never been so proud of any accomplishment in my life as I am of the young lady she is becoming. God is faithful to His promises.
Happy Birthday Morgan...
I love you!

(Your friends don't read my it's safe!)