Just sitting here at the computer. In between watching history being made in Washington, and originating some loans here at my desk, this was a busy day. It's good to be back in the mortgage business. I didn't realize how much I liked it and missed it.
I was, of course, thinking about my daughter. I've been having discussions recently with various guys who've read my book and we will always come back to the effect it has on our kids. I am big on doing my best in front of my daughter. A friend once gave me some sage advice when he said "your daughter is watching you, and watching how you handle this". This is very true, and for years she didn't see much in the way of victory or hope from her daddy. As things have progressed recently, I've become happier and more fulfilled with the shape my life is taking. That fills my tank and gives me something to give back to her. For a lot of years I was sad, sorrowful, and I let her mom do some fairly unkind things to me and I took them in silence for a number of reasons. But those days are over and not a moment too soon.
The bible says "let each of us value others more than ourselves." That presupposes that we should value ourselves! I am learning that if I don't have self respect, and more than that if I don't have respect for my own standing as a child of God, I have little if anything to impart on my daughter. If my love reserves are running low, I have none for her. I have to daily get myself into the position where I am receiving from God and then letting it overflow onto my daughter. That is how a dad blesses his children.
Men, if you've failed...and who hasn't...it's time to receive the forgiveness God offers, and get yourself back into the place of receiving His love and blessing for you each day. Stay there in that place until you are overflowing and then your children will be blessed by the overflow. "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." You can speak blessings or curses...but you can ONLY speak what is abundant in your heart. Forgive yourself for your failures...big and small...and begin to let God fill you with goodness and grace. Then pour that all over your kids.
Have a great day, dads!
2 comments:
You must've been reading my mind today, Craig. Despite my best daily efforts, I continue to accept and endure the various 'punishments' that I feel I've earned through the last four years of my marriage. Somehow, the pain makes sense when we feel that we deserve it. I like how you described becoming full of love ourselves before we can give it away to others. Funny how those we hurt feel completely just and comfortable watching us burn and writhe in shame, self-pity and remorse. Ya gotta give love to get love and that gives me hope.
Love you brother.
Randy
Sometimes we have to take our blows in repentance but it's a fine line between that and self abuse. Consider the position of the other parites...they are hurt too. If Jesus is filling your well, you will have overflow enough to fill you family up as well.
Hang in there my friend. You are blanketed in prayers by folks who LOVE you!
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