Sunday, January 4, 2009

A Great Return on my Investment...

Well with all the news about the economy and the stories within stories out there it had to make it's way here eventually. Bailouts, Bernie Madoff, stimulus packages. It's on everyone's mind. I was thinking about it for the past few days but in a slightly different arena. The investment we make in others...particularly in our kids. How much do we invest and what is the return? Have we run a "Ponzi scheme" where we kept robbing from Peter to pay Paul with our kids. "I'll spend twice as much time with you next weekend son" or "I'll come to twice as many games next season" or "twice as many recitals" "We'll talk as long as you want when I get back in town". Only it never happens like that for lots of people. Divorced dads are especially vulnerable to this trap. We get a limited, prescribed amount of time with our precious children and we can get caught up thinking about what we'd do with a few more minutes in the office. Then we make promises we don't end up keeping. Dads...get back to whats important and STAY THERE! Your kids come first and they must stay first! Period. You can't invest haphazardly in their lives any more than you would your 401K and expect a good return. Be there. Let them know your word is always good. Let them know NOTHING means more than every single second with them. Forsake not one minute for something earthly and temporary. The real return on investment comes when they know you will always pick up that phone, always be there for the violin recital or the baseball game or the banquet. You will always keep your word. It becomes one thing in their already tumultuous lives that they can count on being stable. It's YOU! Invest YOURSELF in your kids. Divorce is no excuse. if you think about it...we all have a set amount of time with our kids...divorced or not. Life moves on at breakneck speed and we need to catch it, grip it by it's throat, wrestle it to the ground and inform it that it will NOT leave our children and us in it's wake. Ultimately we still have a choice about how we spend our lives and what we INVEST in. I am going to pour myself into my daughter and watch the amazing thing that God has inside her just waiting to begin to break the soil and grow. She has the world at her feet and I intend on being the stake that the vine is tied to, giving direction for growth and support as fruit begins to be borne.
How about you?

This is a first...on my other blog, I am going to right a parallel post on the same topic but with a different slant altogether. Check it out.
God bless you men!


inpac said...


Once again you are on point - it's a shame that for so many of us it takes an extreme loss before we realize what we are taking for granted.

For too many years I lived to work and let my kids take the "backseat". I'm glad to say that today this isn't the case - but this lesson came at a price.

However, I think that's the true meaning of your message - that no matter what price we've paid, no matter how limited our time may be, no matter what challenges we may be facing, we should make the most of every second we get.

Thanks for the challenge...I gladly accept it!

God Bless!

CraigD2599 said...

Thanks brother. We all make mistakes. No parent is perfect. The difference between a good parent and a "bad" my not being perfect, it's admitting we weren't and fixing the issue. Denying we ever fail as parents only frustrates our kids and invalidates their pain. Taking responsibility for what we do and making things right impresses the heck out of our kids. They don't expect perfection, but they do expect integrity, and truthfulness. When we say "I never did that" or "That didn't happen" we call them liars or teach them it is wrong or pointless to voice their concerns. When we say "You are right. I did "X" and I shouldn't have. I'll do better next time and I'm sorry" they are releived that we care, and they admire us for our honesty and because it sends the signal to them that we love them enough to become the parents they need us to be and not just the parents we feel like being.

CraigD2599 said...

Admitting our failures and weaknesses also removes the hypocrisy a lot of kids hide behind. If they are free to speak openly so are we with them. I'm not advocating being a weeinie...being a dad is tough sometimes and sometimes we have to choose the unpopular path. But I am talking about those thigs we fail at, that we don't really want to admit to but that our kids need to hear us say..."I was wrong".