Blaise Pascal wrote once about how we all were made in the image of God, and that being true, since the fall of man in the Garden of Eden, God's absence in our soul has left a longing and yearning that we try to fill all our lives. We might try drugs or alcohol or power or money or sex or fame or even isolation. But we try something...often many somethings...to fill what can never be filled outside of a right relationship with Him.
Our lives with our children are very much the same. If you are a divorced dad you understand what I am saying.
I miss my daughter more than words can ever say. I think about her each moment. I make every decision based on how it will effect her life. I remained in Nashville because I refused to have her grow up without a dad the way I did. There is a child-shaped hole in the hearts of a divorced dad and it can never be filled by things, or power, or money or anything else. Most men succumb to it and carry around a painful vortex inside, into which a lot of happiness and hope gets pulled.
Last week on DadMatters we came up with a great descriptive for dads and it's something I am going to develop in the future. The term is "Ten-Talents Dads". It's a reference to the parable Jesus taught about the ten talents. It's the story of a businessman giving some money (talents...a unit of currency in Bible days) to three different servants and going on a trip. When he gets back, he discovers that the one he gave five talents to invested it and doubled his money and he got back ten talents. The one he gave two talents to invested it and doubled his money and the master got back four. The servant he gave one talent to buried his talent in the backyard because he was afraid that if he got daring with it and lost it, the master would punish him. He got only the original talent back from this man and he punished him severely.
Jesus concluded the parable by saying "If you are faithful in little things I will make you faithful in big things."
Ten-Talents Dads is going to be a program whereby we develop what we do have with our kids, and make best use of the time apart from them. In this way we are constantly working on our fatherhood skills whether our kids are with us or not. In doing this, I believe God is going to bless us with bigger and broader influence and impact in our childrens lives.
It's time to take control of what we can do and what we can become, men. Let's be Ten-Talents Dads!
Please check back...this is going to get good!
2 comments:
Guys, Craig is DEAD ON with this philosophy. The parable of the talents speaks directly to us as divorced dads. Just like the time was limited for the servants to have the master's money, for most of us our time is limited with our children to raise them to be young men and women of God! We absolutely must pour our heart, mind, and soul into developing our children! I could probably not find a divorced dad who wants their kid to grow up to be a divorcee! We have to stop the cycle, and the only way to do that is to raise our kids to be set apart, and the way to do that is to be the "ten talent dad!" Trust me, I know what it means to miss my kids. I get to see pictures of my 10 year old son who know has a new man in his life, not to flame on the guy but he left his wife and kids to bust up my marriage! I don't want my son to grow up thinking that's the way a man is, so I must be a ten talent dad! My daughter just turned 13, she sees the new life her mom has chosen in the name of "being happy" and again, I must be a ten talent dad to show her how God wants her to live her life! But I only get two weeks at a time! Men, it hurts! But as Craig can tell you and I can attest, YOU CAN BE THE AMAZING DAD GOD CALLS US TO BE! It's a full time job even whe your children are not physically with you. Guys..no, DADS, please, become the dads your children so desperately need. Become the ten talent dad!
Thank you Shawn!
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