The Big Lies about Dads

I haven't written in a while and for that I apologize. I have been busy. There is a new book in the works and some other new irons in the fire. But I sure haven't forgotten you dads.
I have been reading the emails and comments I receive here on an almost daily basis. My heart aches for you guys. I recently reconnected with a dear friend from high school who has one of the most excruciating and horrifying stories about the frustrations that dads feel when their fatherhood is not protected.
I can't relate it here because it is too lengthy. But his life was irreversibly damaged by the torture of a very evil woman with whom he had a child, and even more so by a single decision he made that altered his life forever.
People think that men don't hurt. They think we don't cry over our kids. That this life is somehow easier for us. That we don't really care about the time we miss with them. Not really. They think we don't grieve this loss and lay awake at night missing our children. They think we can somehow adapt to this life better than women can. That we are all deadbeats. That visitation and time with your kids and influencing them is of no value to us. They could not be more wrong.
I can't count the number of nights I lay awake crying over the hurt I felt missing my daughter. How many times I would call her just to hear her voice for five minutes. How many times I would watch the VHS tapes of her 3rd birthday party or our trips to the beach together. I would sit in her bedroom at night and close my eyes and feel her there. I poured out my tear-filled prayers from beside her bed, because my heart told me that if she had been, it was there that I'd be praying those prayers anyway. It made me feel more connected to her I guess.
Dads hurt as much or more than moms do. Deadbeats and malcontents get the press and the starring role in movies on Lifetime, but those images are a lie. Like all the other lies told about us.
Be strong dads. The lies become true only if we decide to live up to them.

Happy New Year, Dads

Hey guys...
I'm sorry I've been so slacking on this blog. I've been so busy with work and school and trying to put my life back together that I really let this blog...and this ministry...slip.
That changes today.
I have a few announcements to share here about the future of SDC and this blog and the book. So without further ado...
As you may or may not know, I am completing my Bachelors degree via Liberty University Online. I will graduate in May, a mere 28 years after first arriving on campus in Lynchburg Virgina. (I attended L.U. for two years and played men's hockey there.)
My major has changed from Pre-Med to Religion, with an emphasis on ministry. I have also taken extra classes in Life Coaching and I am certified in that field and looking forward to beginning that career immediately.
As part of a Church Ministries class last semester, I had to take an online ministry gifts evaluation. My strengths were--in order-- Pastor / Shepherd, Teacher, Administrator. Now I have NO desire to pastor a church. But I have begun to see this blog and this area of need as a chance to function as a pastor of sorts, to men going through divorce and life after. We are frequently overlooked and I think it's a perfect fit.
So to facilitate this new and exciting chapter...here's what lies ahead;
*Live call-in talk show
I am setting up the machinery for hosting an Internet talk show for divorced dads and anyone who knows and loves them. I have a host of good topics already spinning in my head and the show will be VERY listener driven. I am lining up guests and topics and doing research for this project and hope to kick us off next month. As I get closer to a launch date, I hope you guys will help spread the word.
* Pod casts
I am beginning to catalog my writings and journals into something I can record for uploading via MP3 players of computer listening. The spoken word sometimes lends extra emotion and I'd love to begin offering these lessons and teachings free for you dads to have at your disposal for encouragement, uplifting, wisdom, maybe a laugh or two when you need one, and ideas on not just surviving this wreckage of divorce...but finding life and light and happiness once again.
* Speaking
I LOVE public speaking! I know...it's madness. I suppose I'll have to find something else to be sorely afraid of since most people fear speaking only slightly less than death by drowning or fire. But I am looking for speaking opportunities on the topics we dads face. I'd love to see some of you guys in the crowd as these opportunities open up
* Revise / re-release of my book
"Sometimes Daddies Cry" is now four years old. It's hard to believe I wrote that book in the winter of 2007 but it's true. I was such a raw an unproven writer back then. I have decided that sometime this year I need to re-write the book to update both where I am in my own journey and what new lessons I've learned and also because I think I'm much better at my craft than I was when I wrote the original.
I am going to try to get this done by summer but with my schedule it's hard to say.
* Interaction on this blog
I am actually trying to set up a website for myself where I can condense all my books and blog-links and information onto one page. I have NO working knowledge of site building and can't afford a pro. So bear with me. But one thing I'd like is more interaction with you guys. IN the form of live chat or message boards or whatever.
* Ministry
The word probably sounds really religious. For that I apologize. But I have to tell you...I have a web tracker on this blog. I use it to track trends and usage. One of the functions is that I can see what search words and phrases were used by folks who find this page. I have to say it's heart breaking. Dads...listen...I know you're hurting. I was and still am many times. This pain is unlike anything we were told about and we weren't ready for it. Holidays, birthdays, weekends...just coming home from work on any given night to a house with no children can be soul-killing.
This page is for you guys! I have shed the most anguished tears and screamed the most vile obscenities as God from the depths of the pain I was in. I am often still in that pain at various times. I will only tell you there is hope.
This blog...and my future endeavors...are aimed at helping you (and me) not just "get through it", but overcome, thrive, and show the world we are world class fathers despite our marital status.
You are NOT ALONE!
I love you guys...there is hope.
Craig